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What They Could Have Called It: So Many Alternate Titles for ‘Lawn Mowing Simulator’

The title for the latest sim from Skyhook Games describes exactly what it is. What this post presupposes is: What if it didn’t?

Ringer illustration

On Thursday, video game developer Skyhook Games announced that its next title, Lawn Mowing Simulator—not to be confused with its less specialized rival, Mowing Simulator—will be released for Xbox Series S/X and PC on August 10. The game, which promises to let players “experience the beauty and detail of mowing the Great British countryside” and “ride an authentic and expansive roster of real-world licensed lawn mowers,” is the latest in a line of strangely soothing virtual work simulators that turn real-life chores into on-screen relaxation. Like a lot of other digital recreations of extremely specific, unglamorous activities—PowerWash Simulator, Orchard Simulator, Toy Tinker Simulator, Bakery Simulator, Gas Station Simulator, Forester Simulator, and so on—Lawn Mowing Simulator’s title describes exactly what it is.

But what this post presupposes is: What if it didn’t? What if Skyhook had called it something sillier instead?

Shortly after discovering the existence of Lawn Mowing Simulator, The Ringer’s video games Slack channel collectively lost its mind. It began when Ben Lindbergh informed incurable Anglophile and Series X owner Brian Phillips that Lawn Mowing Simulator would allow him to trim English lawns whenever he wanted. “Oh my god,” Phillips said. “My Breath of the Wild.” Then the sickness struck. Lindbergh proposed a substitute title: Great British Rake Off. Rob Harvilla suggested Blade Sitter. And David Lara pushed past the point of no return when he weighed in to say Grand Mow Auto. That sparked the following senseless exchange, which we chose to share so that you, too, would be forced to spend some part of your day brainstorming alternate names for a game about mowing lawns. Please let us know whether we missed any.

[5:15 p.m. ET] Jomi Adeniran: Call of Dirty: Grass Opps

[5:17] Lindbergh: Twisted Petal

[5:18] Cory McConnell: Horizon Zero Lawn

[5:19] Phillips: Astro Bot: Fescue Mission

[5:19] Matt James: Sod of War

[5:19] James: Demon’s Soils

[5:21] McConnell: Gran Turismow

[5:22] Lindbergh: Can this be a blog?

[5:25] Lindbergh: (Need for Seed)

[5:27] Adeniran: Sonic the Hedgeclippers

[5:36] James: Dr. Robotanist

[5:33] Kjerstin Johnson: Animal Crossing

[5:37] Lindbergh: Grass Effect

[5:37] Lindbergh: Assassin’s Weed

[5:39] James: Final Fertilizer VII Remake Intergrade

[5:40] Phillips: Looking out at my weed-infested, unmown lawn: Cyberpunk 2077

[5:41] Lindbergh: Peat Fighter

[5:41] Lindbergh: Saints Mow

[5:43] McConnell: Ninja Garden

[5:56] Lindbergh: The Yard’s Tale

[5:56] Lindbergh: Broken Sward (I used a thesaurus for that one)

[6:43] McConnell: Plants Plants Revolution

[6:43] McConnell: You thought it was over?

[6:50] Adeniran: Mega Mulch and AstroTurf

[9:32] Miles Surrey: Uncharted 2: Among Leaves

[9:33] James: Apex Hedges

[9:38] Isaiah Blakely: Mowerwatch

[9:38] McConnell: Mortal Kompost

[9:54] James: Red Deciduous Redemption

[9:41] Lindbergh: For the last three hours I’ve been like, “Bloom Raider? The Elder Knolls? Is that something?”

[10:02] James: BLOOM Eternal

[10:03] McConnell: I promise I’m done but: Roquette League

[10:05] James: Please don’t be done

[10:05] Harvilla: The Lawns of Us

[10:09] James: Untitled Grass Game

[10:10] Lindbergh: Days Lawn

[10:12] Lara: Red Lawn Redemption

[10:12] Lindbergh: OK, now you’re just substituting “lawn” for words that don’t rhyme with “lawn”

[10:13] Lara: Exactly

[10:15] Lindbergh: Lords of the Pollen

[10:15] Blakely: Super Mowerio Party

[10:38] Julianna Ress: The Legend of Zelda: The Weed Wacker

[10:42] Harvilla: Battletoads

[10:43] Lindbergh: I almost suggested Star Wars Jedi: Pollen Order

[10:46] Lara: Legit thought of this one too

[10:47] Lindbergh: All of our brains are broken

...

[7:21 a.m.] Phillips: Grand Theft Auto: Sand and Ryegrass

This transcript has been edited and condensed, if you can believe it.