Harry Styles is a man of the people, which is why during this weekend’s Saturday Night Live cold open—the only sketch of the night that the dual host–musical guest wasn’t a part of—he released his new single, “Watermelon Sugar.” That meant fans could firmly mute Pete Davidson leering at the screen in a bald cap and listen to something much better instead. What a guy.
The rest of the show, Harry’s first as both musical guest and host, only got better from there—no surprise to fans well aware of his comedic timing from previous stints on SNL and the Late Late Show. But to the locals, as they say, Harry provided an unexpectedly strong outing for the show, as his willingness to get weird paired nicely with some strong musical numbers. Not to mention, as always, more than one fashion moment, darling. From an over-the-top Icelandic accent to getting on the bad side of a bakery company, here’s one fan’s ranking of everything Harry Styles did on Saturday Night Live.
13. Cut for Time: “Jason”
A not-insignificant part of me has always wanted to see Harry Styles rapping in a letter jacket and living his best Troy Bolton/Finn Hudson life, but I’m not losing any sleep over this cut-for-time musical number not making the show. That said, it did give us this iconic screenshot, which I would like to humbly submit as the replacement cover art for Harry’s new album.
12. “That’s the Game”
“What if Harry Styles, but with Post Malone braids?” asked no one, ever. This digital short has provided me with enough nightmare fuel to last a lifetime. Someone decided to put Harry in some deeply cursed Jonah Hill Maniac cosplay, and I am fully not here for it. (Funny sketch, though!)
11. “Lunch Run”
As well-intentioned intern “Robert E. Lee,” Harry returned to his “Marcel” days (if you know, you know), playing the Popeyes-obsessed straight man to a horrified Kenan Thompson and Ego Nwodim. Harry’s serviceable, but the real accomplishment here is the Disney+ drop at the end.
10. “Baby Faye and Her Newsboys”
“Calling all the gays of 1931,” is perhaps how every Harry Styles concert should start. But really, Harry Styles on Broadway? I didn’t know I needed it, but now I will not rest until we get this man an EGOT. Or at least a real Newsies adaptation. OK, or maybe he’ll just keep wearing that damn newsboy cap. Whatever, I’ll take it.
9. “Lights Up”
Oh right, he was there to sing, too! While Harry’s performance of his lead single didn’t quite reach the dramatic heights of the “Lights Up” music video—which of course it couldn’t, they can’t show Harry Styles writhing half naked in an orgy of people on network television—this deep-cut glittery jumpsuit is a nice consolation prize. Harry slowed down the song, added a trumpet (never a bad idea), and reminded everyone why he’s here in the first place.
8. “Childbirth Class”
It took until Harry Styles broke in this sketch that I realized he hadn’t broken all night, and he never did it again. It was, of course, immediately hilarious. Harry played one half of an Icelandic influencer couple expecting triplets and concerned about some surprising aspects of parenthood. Harry Styles: actually extremely good at accents? Who knew?
7. “Funeral DJs”
This sketch was the spiritual sequel to the first installment in the surprisingly robust Harry Styles Singing At Funerals Sketch Canon, first explored on the Late Late Show a few years ago. But as opposed to the Corden sketch, which saw Harry cracking up even in a prerecorded video, he kept a deathly straight face this time around. Even when shit got real weird.
This monologue had it all—bright yellow pants, fingernail polish, fake piano playing, shade thrown at Zayn Malik and Simon Cowell, and impeccable hair. Slam dunk.
5. “Watermelon Sugar”
As it turns out, Harry’s second single sounded way better not played over the endless SNL cold open. He sounded great, the brass band sounded even better, and now I need a hot-pink cropped blazer in my life immediately.
4. The Sex Shirt
Thank you, @Harry_Styles and Jon Hamm! GOODNIGHT! #HarryOnSNL pic.twitter.com/u88cUVzdKA— Saturday Night Live - SNL (@nbcsnl) November 17, 2019
He’s committed to his brand; I’ll give him that.
3. “Joan Song”
Between Euphoria and After, Harry Styles fanfic is, uh, in this year, but somehow I didn’t expect this weekend’s SNL to go quite as far as “Harry Styles is my dog who is also my boyfriend.” Either way it was great, but I’m knocking it down a few points for providing us with this horrifying image.
Even Cats is scared.
2. “Airline Pilots”
This sketch was definitely one of the night’s funniest, but the best part was realizing Harry’s commitment to the character stretched only as far as not removing his various rings and nail polish.
Every man has his limits.
1. “Sara Lee”
Just how wild did Harry Styles get on SNL, you may ask? Answer:
We have comedic geniuses Bowen Yang and Julio Torres to thank for the best sketch of the night and for the ensuing chaos that took over Twitter. Starring Harry as a social media account manager who can’t keep his personal life off of Sara Lee’s professional Instagram, the sketch was a veritable embarrassment of riches. And by riches, I mean this:
Instagram commenters immediately spammed the Sara Lee account with suggestive emoji, causing the company to lock comments and release the following statement: “We didn’t participate in creating the skit and its content doesn’t align with Sara Lee Bread’s brand. But, we all know SNL pushes the envelope for laughs and we are taking it in stride.”
It’s worth noting that before joining One Direction on The X Factor, Harry Styles started out working in a bakery. The circle of life is a beautiful thing.