Welcome back to the third annual H.A.T.E.R.’s Guide to the NBA playoffs! The NBA postseason is finally here and while you might not be able to watch every single game, you already know how fun it’s going to be when certain teams get sent home. For some, it’s going to be a sad goodbye. But for others, folks will be dancing around their grave like it’s the beginning of The Wizard of Oz.
One change this year: Instead of focusing solely on the first-round matchups, we’re rating all the postseason teams by how pleasurable it would be to laugh whenever their season comes to an end.
Everything else is the same, though! I’ll rate every team on the Hate And Toxicity Evidence Ratio Index (a.k.a. the H.A.T.E.R. Index) on a scale from 1 to 10, with 1 being completely unhateable and 10 representing a hatred so strong you don’t just pray for their downfall, but you try to actively participate in it.
The play-in tournament is still going on, so we’re including every team that’s still alive going into Friday’s schedule. Let’s get to it, starting with this postseason’s most lovable squads.
18. Detroit Pistons
Pictures are worth a thousand words, but this one means even more to fans of Detroit basketball. Just a few years ago, the Pistons were in the dregs of the NBA cellar and now, just two seasons later, they’re the top seed in the East flourishing under a young core ahead of schedule. This is a team objective observers will be rooting for to build on last year’s postseason and make a deep run. No hate here; everybody wants to see these Pistons succeed.
H.A.T.E.R. Index: 1/10
17. Atlanta Hawks
Trading your franchise player usually leaves teams in a bit of a stupor, but the vibes in Atlanta right now could not be higher. Jalen Johnson’s emergence as an All-NBA-level player is the stuff fans dream of, and if you squint, you’d think Nickeil Alexander-Walker kinda maybe looks like his cousin while hooping. Atlanta finished the season red hot, winning 19 of its last 24 en route to a playoff berth. This team is young, high octane, and just fun to watch. Hating on them seems like an exercise in futility.
H.A.T.E.R. Index: 3/10
16. Charlotte Hornets
You know the NBA is the best league in the world when a team like the Hornets can win 28 of their last 38, dominate the conversation for weeks, and look up at the standings and see they’re still not in the playoffs.
To be fair to them, however, just having this level of success is something the city of Charlotte has desperately wanted for quite some time. And now their patience has been rewarded with maybe the most fun team in the league. Led by LaMelo Ball and his unique style and supplemented wonderfully by Brandon Miller’s athleticism and Kon Knueppel’s emergence as one of the NBA’s best shooters, the Hornets have quickly become one of basketball’s best stories. Can they beat Detroit in a seven-game series if they advance past the play-in? Probably not. But it’d be a hell of a ride … just as long as LaMelo’s not the one behind the wheel.
H.A.T.E.R. Index : 3/10
15. Phoenix Suns
Five years ago, the Phoenix Suns were up 2-0 in the NBA Finals and a stone’s throw away from winning their first championship in franchise history. But then Giannis happened. So the Suns made a big trade for Kevin Durant, and we all thought, “OK, maybe now it’s time.” But then Bradley Beal happened. Every time the Suns are on the precipice of being the team folks hope they can be, someone or something pushes them back in the dirt.
This year was supposed to be a year where Jalen Green and Devin Booker lit the league on fire as one of the NBA’s top backcourts, but it was their top-10 defense that led the way for the Suns most of the year. The fact that they found a way to get here despite everything is something for which they should get credit … even if OKC would promptly put them back in the dirt.
It’s not all bad. At least their owner isn’t beefing with podcast hosts on Twitter. Wait–
H.A.T.E.R. Index: 4/10
14. Toronto Raptors
It’s been a rough few months for our brothers and sisters in the Great White North, moments which include but are not limited to:
- losing the World Series after being up 3-2 and blowing Game 7
- losing the Olympic gold-medal hockey game to the U.S. women
- losing the Olympic gold-medal hockey game to the U.S. men
I could sit here and preach about how easy it is to hate on Canada and their free healthcare, but not only have they suffered enough, but the Raptors’ up-and-down season resulting in an honest-to-god playoff berth deserves a level of–
LOL J/K, PLAY MY SONG!
(I’m so sorry, Toronto. I couldn’t help myself.)
H.A.T.E.R. Index: 5/10
13. Philadelphia 76ers
The 76ers are an interesting case when it comes to the H.A.T.E.R. Index because, on one hand, you have Tyrese Maxey and VJ Edgecombe, two young and extremely likable players that helped keep the Sixers within range of a playoff berth all year. Unfortunately, on the other hand, is H.A.T.E.R. Index All-Stars Joel Embiid and Paul George.
I think at this stage of their careers, though, we know what we’re getting here and it isn’t as fun as it used to be to laugh at the Sixers' misfortune.
Except for the “ ___ made a conference finals before Embiid” jokes. Those will always be funny.
H.A.T.E.R. Index: 6/10
12. Denver Nuggets
The Nuggets are one of the best stories in the NBA right now. Despite injuries to Aaron Gordon and Nikola Jokic, the team secured the no. 3 seed in the West behind Jamal Murray’s best season as a pro. The first-time All-Star averaged 25 points and seven assists per game while shooting 48 percent from the field and 43 percent from 3, all career highs. In other words, Murray finally brought his playoff form to the regular season.
So now we can stop the lying.
For years, all the talk has been about how Jokic was carrying a team full of guys who have never made an All-Star team, despite the fact that if you had two functional eyeballs, you could see that Murray was one of the biggest playoff risers we’ve ever seen. Acting like Jokic was out there with nobodies was a joke. I’m glad we can finally put that garbage lie to rest.
Or maybe I’m just being bitter, I don’t know.
H.A.T.E.R. Index: 6/10
More on the NBA Playoffs
11. Cleveland Cavaliers
Simply put: James Harden + elimination game = must-see TV.
H.A.T.E.R. Index: 7/10
10. Portland Trail Blazers
All things being equal, the Blazers wouldn’t have been ranked this high in a normal year. This is a team that many thought would be a cellar dweller. And given what happened to their head coach earlier in the season, you wouldn’t have blamed them for packing it in, but they fought and scraped their way to a postseason appearance.
So why is this underdog’s H.A.T.E.R. Index so high, you ask? Because it's behind one of the biggest “Polar Bear in Texas” statistical anomalies that we’ve ever seen:
Look at that list of names. A bunch of superstars with huge size advantages who like to play in the paint, and Deni Avdija is right there, above all but one. It’d be impressive if it weren’t so shameless. No matter how good your game is, you can never overcome being hailed as a flopper. It actually reminds me of another guy on this list, but let’s put a pin in that for now.
H.A.T.E.R. Index: 7/10
9. Orlando Magic
This Orlando Magic season was legitimately one of the funniest NBA seasons to watch in recent memory. (Unless, of course, you are a Magic fan. Then it’s probably been the worst couple months of your life.)
The hilarity comes from one of the most unserious teams we’ve ever seen, and we saw it on full display during the last day of the regular season. All they had to do to help secure a spot in the playoffs was to beat the skeleton-crew Boston Celtics. Leading by nine at half, pulling out the win should have been easy right?
The G League Celtics outscored the Magic by 22 in the third quarter and never looked back.
Paolo Banchero doesn’t look like he can be a lead option on a playoff team, Jamahl Mosley looks lost, and the team’s offense is as captivating as watching two slugs run a marathon. Magic fans will finally be glad this season's over, but for us tourists, the fallout of their playoff exit will be something to behold.
H.A.T.E.R. Index: 7/10
8. San Antonio Spurs
Now, I know what you’re thinking. You’re probably saying to yourself: “Wait, Jomi, the Spurs are a young team that achieved significant success despite their youth, just like the Pistons. Why is their H.A.T.E.R. Index so much higher?”
Well, I’m glad you asked, reader. It’s pretty simple, actually.
Do I need to remind you the Spurs have had David Robinson, Tim Duncan, and Victor Wembanyama fall in their laps? This is a franchise that’s been good to great for nearly 30 years, and every time they aren’t, bang, they get another generational big man. They’re the luckiest franchise in the history of the NBA draft. If your team has been in the lottery year after year and has nothing to show for it, watching the Spurs’ collection of youngsters should make you sick.
H.A.T.E.R. Index: 7/10
7. Minnesota Timberwolves
This has been a weird season for Minnesota. After back-to-back Western Conference finals appearances, Anthony Edwards missed a bunch of time this year, including 11 of the team’s last 14 games, which excluded him from end-of-season awards. Despite that, the squad still finished in the top half of offensive rating and top 10 in defensive rating, leading to a top-six finish in a competitive Western Conference.
So what’s the problem? Why are they ranked so high here?
Unfortunately for the Timberwolves, they employ Rudy Gobert, and he alone adds three points to a team’s H.A.T.E.R. Index.
You hate to see it, but, hey, it’s not like I literally make the rules.
H.A.T.E.R. Index: 8/10
6. Houston Rockets
This particular rating rests squarely on the shoulders of two people. One likes to spend too much time online responding to rage-bait tweets. The other goes by GetOffMyDickerson.
GetOffMyDickerson, who as far as we can confirm, is not affiliated with Kevin Durant, had tweets and DMs surface earlier this year revealing information about NBA teams and players that coincidentally have crossed paths with Kevin Durant in his career—including a few about his current Rockets teammates and “a triple double cocaine bear.” Due to a spat on NBA Twitter, someone connected GetOffMyDickerson and Kevin Durant, who—and I cannot stress this enough—are NOT the same person. Which would have been funny enough, except that 1) Kevin Durant has admitted to using burner accounts before, and 2) the news also came out on All-Star Sunday when KD was seen glued to his phone the entire time:
The jokes write themselves. Even if KD and GetOffMyDickerson turn out to be two completely separate people, KD’s propensity to get caught up via online Looney Tunes situations like this must be studied. You’re a first-ballot Hall of Famer and you have the same amount of screen time as a 29-year-old social media producer that works for a digital media company. It’d be the funniest thing in the world if it weren’t so … actually, it’s still the funniest thing that happened this NBA season, I’m sorry.
KD has earned the ire of NBA fans since he ruined our Fourth of July celebrations a decade ago, so Houston’s H.A.T.E.R. Index was always going to be high, but the GetOffMyDickerson bit takes the hate to a whole new level.
H.A.T.E.R. Index: 8/10
5. Golden State Warriors
Is this one of the least hated Warriors teams in a while? Let’s take a look at the most hateable Warriors teams since 2015:
- 2017-2019 Warriors: Obviously.
- 2022 Warriors: Won a chip, but were no longer an underdog story.
- 2016 Warriors: 73-9, blew through the league.
- 2023-2024 Warriors: Back-to-back Western Conference semifinals
- 2020-2021 Warriors: The only time the team was legitimately bad
- 2026 Warriors: Steph and Jimmy got hurt
- 2015 Warriors: Who hates the new kids on the block?
Very scientific, I know, but this particular Warriors team is both fun to watch and extremely likeable. The Steph Show will always be enthralling, and when Draymond isn’t flailing around like a 6-year-old learning karate (like he was against Kawhi Leonard on Wednesday in the play-in) you have the recipe for a team that doesn’t immediately make you recoil. They’re still the Warriors unfortunately, though.
H.A.T.E.R. Index: 8/10
4. New York Knicks
This was supposed to be the year. With injuries to the Celtics and Pacers, the Knicks were supposed to walk to the Finals, and yet … here we are. If you are going to fire your coach after being two wins away from a Finals berth, you HAVE to make the right decision. And while the team has been better offensively, they are still led by a 6-foot-2 guard, a slew of streaky shooters, and a big man whose playoff legacy is committing dumb foul after dumb foul.
And how soon we forget that this is the same collection of guys that blew a 15-point lead with less than five minutes remaining in a playoff game, authoring one of the most colossal collapses we’ve seen not just in NBA history, but sports as a whole:
H.A.T.E.R. Index: 8/10
3. Los Angeles Lakers
Part of me wants to go easy on the Lakers because of their injuries, but I still can’t get over the frickin’ Luka trade. Being gifted Luka Doncic on a silver (pun not intended, kinda) platter and then, for the first time in a long time, getting him in shape? Only to lose in the first round? I can already feel Mavericks fans getting ready to bully me.
Oh, and LeBron James is on this team. In case anyone forgot. He tends to get the people going.
H.A.T.E.R. Index: 8/10
2. Boston Celtics
How annoying are these guys?
As the only person brave enough to hate on the Celtics at The Ringer, I’m legitimately asking.
After Jayson Tatum's unfortunate injury, many folks figured they would take a step back as a powerhouse in the East, and they just … didn’t.
Jaylen Brown played himself into the MVP conversation while Derrick White continued his never-ending quest to be the best White to ever play for Boston. Meanwhile, Joe Mazzulla keeps winning games as often as he drops insane quotes. At every turn, at every obstacle, the Celtics have fought this season to overcome the odds. I hate it.
H.A.T.E.R. Index: 9/10
1. Oklahoma City Thunder
The reigning NBA champions deserve this. It’s one thing to be the team that gets to foul everyone and seemingly never has a whistle blown against them. It’s another to be the team whose star lives at the line because of some of the most egregious flopping in the history of mankind. Being both, though, by far, makes you the most hated team in the 2026 NBA postseason.
What’s sad is that it doesn’t have to be this way.
The flopping is embarrassing, and the worst part is Shai Gilgeous-Alexander doesn’t have to do it. There’s no need for him to flail his arms and snap his head back like it’s 2002 and Steve Austin just hit him with a Stone Cold Stunner. SGA is such a unique offensive talent that free-throw grifting is beneath him. His handle, his ability to consistently get to his spots, and his smooth jumper make him one of the best offensive players to watch in the history of the NBA. We should appreciate someone who has mastered that techniq—
I can’t do this. Lu Dort is still on that team. Never mind.
H.A.T.E.R. Index: 10/10
