All 173 Cold Opens of ‘The Office,’ Ranked
With the show’s follow-up and spinoff, ‘The Paper,’ premiering this week, it’s the perfect time to reminisce about chili spills, Jim pranks, fake fires, and moreAll 173 Cold Opens of ‘The Office,’ Ranked
With the show’s follow-up and spinoff, ‘The Paper,’ premiering this week, it’s the perfect time to reminisce about chili spills, Jim pranks, fake fires, and more
A cold open brings us directly into a story before the opening credits, the equivalent of a cold splash of water to wake up your nervous system. In the now legendary TV show The Office, it's used in one of two ways: either to introduce the main plotline in a quick bite or to tell a self-contained story that typically runs less than two minutes. The beloved series turned the cold open into an art form, delivering an array of unforgettable quotes, shocks, and laughs. From intimate moments with a couple of characters to epic, office-wide antics, the cold open became a secret weapon of The Office, allowing new and old audiences alike a chance to be roped into an episode with minimal context. With the long-awaited Office spinoff The Paper making its way to Peacock on September 4, it’s the perfect time to reminisce about The Office again. And what better way to reminisce than a ranking of every cold open that’s longer than the queue on pretzel day?
In ranking all 173 cold opens on The Office, we considered a number of factors, including how memorable and funny they are, as well as iconic moments, quotes, looks to the camera, and camerawork (one of the most underrated and crucial elements of the series). Now, grab a big bowl of chili and sit at your mega-desk as we rank every single cold open on The Office.
Tier 7: “NOOO, GOD! NO, GOD, PLEASE, NO!”
173. Season 8, Episode 24: “Free Family Portrait Studio”
Oscar makes an “It Gets Better” video, delivering unbearable cringe without any comedy. Thankfully, every other cold open is … better.
172. Season 9, Episode 10: “Lice”
Jim keeps biting his lip. That’s it! We’re really scraping the bottom of the barrel here.
171. Season 9, Episode 1: “New Guys”
Kevin’s rapidly decreasing intelligence is unforgivable, and his crushing of a turtle's shell and attempt to “fix” it is a joke with no payoff.
170. Season 9, Episode 5: “Here Comes Treble”
Dwight is stuck in a pumpkin head. Feels like a false character note (he’d never put his head in a pumpkin without a proper exit plan), and it’s aggressively stupid.
169. Season 8, Episode 19: “Get the Girl”
A balloon that’s been in the warehouse for years (???) is finally coming down. Everyone gets sad about how their lives have gotten worse. How fun!
Tier 6: We’d Rather Smell Jan’s Candles
168. Season 9, Episode 13: “Junior Salesman”
Perhaps the most forgettable of all cold opens, it deals with the aftermath after camera crew member Brian intervened during a Pam talking head at the end of the previous episode. Not one iota of an interesting idea.
167. Season 6, Episode 14: “The Banker”
An investment banker is coming to sign off so that Dunder Mifflin can be sold. Michael makes a joke about Gaga being a drag queen. A pointless episode begets a pointless cold open.
166. Season 9, Episode 4: “Work Bus”
While it's good to see Andy get his comeuppance, his softball epic fails video is one of the most abhorrent things The Office committed to screen.
165. Season 9, Episode 16: “Moving On”
David Wallace argues with Andy because he lied about being away for three months, and nothing comes of it. We all wanted to see Andy fired, so it’s hard for this to feel like anything but a massive letdown.
164. Season 8, Episode 17: “Test the Store”
Erin dancing in front of unhoused people, thinking she’s attracting a line for the Sabre store, was in poor taste in 2012 and has only gotten worse with age.
163. Season 6, Episode 2: “The Meeting”
Michael is getting a colonoscopy, so he asks Oscar for advice. It’s grim; Oscar’s utter disbelief and discomfort is felt by all of us.
162. Season 6, Episode 12: “Scott’s Tots”
The most grating parts of Andy’s and Michael’s personalities come to play in a mash of baby talk and Elvis impressions.
161. Season 9, Episode 8: “The Target”
Oscar is worried that Angela knows about his affair. When did the writers decide that so many final season cold opens couldn’t be fun anymore?
160. Season 8, Episode 13: “Jury Duty”
Andy demands the warehouse space so that he can dance to “Footloose.” OK, sure.
159. Season 2, Episode 10: “Christmas Party”
Michael gets a way too big Christmas tree. That’s the joke.
158. Season 2, Episode 16: “Valentine’s Day”
Not a single laugh here, but it's good to see Phyllis showered with gifts by Bob Vance.
157. Season 3, Episode 3: “The Coup”
An extended setup for a joke about how Michael likes Entourage. Which, in fairness, feels pretty Entourage.
156. Season 3, Episode 17: “Business School”
This one has an awful bit about Michael’s predatory eighth grade teacher. It’s far more unpleasant than funny.
155. Season 2, Episode 4: “The Fire”
Pam gets a call at reception from Katy, Jim’s girlfriend, and she’s not happy about it, suggesting that Jim give Katy his extension. That’s all.
154. Season 4, Episode 17: “Job Fair”
Most of this tier is characterized by cold opens that are simply dull, and Michael laying out the plan for the job fair is a great example of that.
153. Season 7, Episode 12: “Ultimatum”
Jim stumbles on a meeting of the Knights of the Night, Dwight’s group of volunteer crime patrollers. It’s sorely missing a punch line—or a single joke.
152. Season 2, Episode 3: “Office Olympics”
In The Office’s very first cold open, Ryan brings Michael his breakfast two hours before the day starts. Michael being a terrible boss is a joke that’s usually implemented better elsewhere in the series.
151. Season 8, Episode 12: “Pool Party”
This cold open gave us Stanley shouting, “You’ve been meatballed!” and I think that’s beautiful. But the meatball prank is Jim’s worst, and it rings false for Dwight and Stanley to be excited about the driest-looking meatballs.
150. Season 8, Episode 10: “Christmas Wishes”
Stanley, frustrated by Andy’s insistence on calling the Christmas party a “holiday” party, goes on a rant. No laughs to be found.
149. Season 3, Episode 9: “The Convict”
Hannah Smoterich-Barr may be unpleasant to work with, but can you blame her when her boss acts this deplorably toward her? Michael shouting, “I want some milk!” to his breastfeeding subordinate lives in infamy.
148. Season 8, Episode 18: “Last Day in Florida”
Andy breaks the news that Dwight is going to be VP in Florida—but he makes it sound like he died. That’s funny! Then it goes on for ages and becomes about Dwight’s secret treasure, which has an unsatisfying payoff.
147. Season 2, Episode 18: “Take Your Daughter to Work Day”
Michael comparing the office to HBO is amusing, but this one just keeps going without doing anything too worthwhile.
146. Season 8, Episode 2: “The Incentive”
Kevin started using fewer words to save time. But it causes more harm than good, and it creates plenty of confusion: Did he want to “see world” or go to “Sea World”?
145. Season 2, Episode 9: “Email Surveillance”
Michael’s (racist) overreaction is uncalled for, and the punch line of mistaking the IT guy for a terrorist isn’t an effective gag, even if it’s playing off Michael’s ignorance and lack of self-awareness.
144. Season 3, Episode 10: “A Benihana Christmas”
Dwight killed a goose for Christmas, and everyone (including us viewers) is upset about it.
143. Season 4, Episode 11: “Night Out”
The visual of Dwight giving Michael a peanut butter hair massage helps make this watchable.
142. Season 5, Episode 23: “Broke”
Michael’s new company delivers its own paper, which leads to a couple of cute moments (Michael messing with Ryan, a woman thinking their delivery van is for her church) dotted in an overlong and exhaustive cold open.
141. Season 7, Episode 22: “Inner Circle”
Deangelo announces new policies that he delivers like they’re bad news, but they’re all welcome additions. OK, fine. Our first taste of The Office without Michael is … concerning.
140. Season 6, Episode 9: “Double Date”
Dwight getting everyone bagels so that he can win them over in an attempt to get Jim fired is ridiculous. The rest of the gag needs the main episode to work.
139. Season 9, Episode 7: “The Whale”
Season 9 Andy is largely irredeemable, but it’s amusing to see him losing his mind at sea—after just two days, Darryl tells us.
Tier 5: As Fun as an Awkward Dundies
138. Season 7, Episode 5: “The Sting”
Oscar won’t shut up about his new bike, and Michael crashes it into a car. In Tier 5, the quality is ticking up a little, but this still feels more like an attempt to stretch time than anything of substance.
137. Season 7, Episode 18: “Garage Sale”
Dwight opens the warehouse door for a garage sale, but it's freezing and nobody’s there. Not much of a point to this, and it cuts away just before the fight between Andy and Dwight gets interesting.
136. Season 2, Episode 7: “The Client”
Largely forgettable, but it delivered the timeless image of Michael dancing in his jeans.
135. Season 2, Episode 21: “Conflict Resolution”
Angela wants to know where her wedding invite is, but Pam doesn't want anyone there who’s called her a “hussy.” Can’t argue with that!
134. Season 3, Episode 1: “Gay Witch Hunt”
Unfunny plot recaps are not why we come to cold opens! This one flashes back to the "Casino Night" kiss between Jim and Pam, but we come to The Office for joy; heartbreak doesn’t feel good in a place like this. Dwight faking tears over Jim leaving helps, though.
133. Season 5, Episode 4: “Crime Aid”
A weird one. Michael obsessively calls Pam at her temp office in New York. His shouting of “Pa-moo-la” has made it into my daily lexicon, so there’s that.
132. Season 5, Episode 20: “Dream Team”
Kevin makes for a terrible receptionist, but he eventually figures out how to forward a call to Andy—who finds out that his maid died. The tonal shift feels unearned, and it’s just baffling stuff.
131. Season 5, Episode 22: “Heavy Competition”
This has very little to offer, except for watching Michael, Pam, and Ryan catch cheese puffs with their mouths. And that’s enough to put it above quite a few others.
130. Season 6, Episodes 17 and 18: “The Delivery”
Dwight gets personal in his business calls to try to increase sales, which backfires. Turns out people just don’t care about goat fungus!
129. Season 7, Episode 20: “Training Day”
Michael goes to meet his replacement, Deangelo, at the bar, and they can’t find each other—but it turns out that they’ve been talking to each other the whole time. It’s fine, but two Michael Scotts are one too many.
128. Season 6, Episode 3: “The Promotion”
Dwight’s love of bureaucracy comes back to bite him as he tries to deal with having two bosses. It’s good, but Dwight rambling in an over-the-top talking head makes for an underwhelming payoff.
127. Season 6, Episode 20: “New Leads”
Michael’s convinced that a random man in his neighborhood is Johnny Depp, which is exceptionally stupid, even for him. But his reaction when Jim plays along is pretty priceless.
126. Season 3, Episode 19: “Safety Training”
Andy’s back in the office after anger management, and there’s a fun bit in which Dwight’s attempted shunning of Andy goes awry. But like most cold opens in this tier, it's stifled by a bloated length and lack of focus.
125. Season 9, Episode 11: “Suit Warehouse”
While it’s fun to see Jim and Dwight wearing coordinated outfits for sales pitches, this cold open doesn’t go anywhere.
124. Season 8, Episode 3: “Lotto”
This one’s annoying, but it gives us a great Kevin bit and some worthy physical comedy. After the gang finds a dog locked in a parked car, Kevin says, “I’m gonna get in my car. When I start dying, I’ll honk the horn three times.” When he collapses on his wheel later on, it makes for an appropriately goofy punch line.
123. Season 9, Episode 17: “The Farm”
Largely pointless, but a montage of Dwight throwing dirt on everyone’s faces (per Schrute family funeral tradition) is amusing.
122. Season 9, Episode 19: “Stairmageddon”
Elevator maintenance is happening, and Stanley is fuming. It’s fun, physical comedy, but it feels like a phoned-in rehash of Season 4’s “Chair Model” (which we’ll get to in a sec).
121. Season 3, Episode 13: “The Return”
This one lacks a quality punch line, but watching Dwight not understand what makes for a good job interview (bringing three long résumés to each one doesn’t help) is worthwhile.
120. Season 4, Episode 5: “Local Ad”
Michael is hyping up the office about the TV ad they’re going to make. He has many ideas, all of which are reliably offensive.
119. Season 4, Episode 8: “The Deposition”
Pam gives Michael fake phone messages during meetings to make him seem important. Jan’s impressed look to the camera over these fake notes is a great touch, but Ryan calling Michael on his bluff has a disappointingly weak payoff.
118. Season 8, Episode 1: “The List”
The Office takes on the short-lived planking craze. There are some fun moments in this kickoff to Season 8, especially the reveal that Angela and Pam are both pregnant (or “little pregs and big pregs,” as Angela puts it). Still, this is nearly five minutes long, and it doesn’t have the payoff of other extended cold opens. It did give us Stanley shouting, “Shove it up your butt!” though!
117. Season 3, Episode 22: “Beach Games”
Michael has an awkward call with David Wallace, but it has a great gag: He hears David sigh and assumes that it's Jan.
116. Season 3, Episode 23: “The Job”
Michael is impressively ready for his big interview with Wallace, but there’s a funny twist—he’s arrived a day early.
115. Season 4, Episode 4: “Money”
The movies Michael is watching on Netflix (pre-streaming) dictate his attitude, and he’s currently watching The Devil Wears Prada. It’s a great bit (Michael is easily influenced), and you don’t need to know the film to enjoy Michael being a diva.
114. Season 4, Episode 10: “Chair Model”
Construction workers have taken over the parking lot, and some people (read: Kevin, whose anguish is very funny) aren’t happy about it.
113. Season 9, Episode 6: “The Boat”
Oscar tells the camera crew about his affair with Senator Robert Lipton, but Kevin overhears him. Kevin’s stunned reaction, punctuated by the ice cream slowly falling off the cone he’s holding, is ace.
112. Season 9, Episode 24: “Finale”
Largely a recap of the first year of Dwight’s managerial reign, but we get the ruthless firing of Kevin and Toby, which is so true to Dwight’s character. And hey, at least Kevin got a chocolate cake!
111. Season 2, Episode 5: “Halloween”
An awkward and funny conversation between Michael and Sherrie, Jan’s assistant, about who Michael’s going to fire. The camerawork does some heavy lifting here, and a cheeky pan to the telephone delivers a big laugh.
110. Season 2, Episode 15: “Boys and Girls”
If there’s one thing Michael hates, it's being left out. So when Jan has a meeting with the women of the office, Michael can’t resist crashing it.
109. Season 3, Episode 8: “The Merger”
This cold open goes on for way too long, but Pam pretending to “time” Dwight’s running with a thermometer is a gem within the mediocrity.
108. Season 3, Episode 15: “Phyllis’ Wedding”
Jim's Pavlovian experiment with the mints is cute but low-key compared with his other, more extravagant pranks pulled on Dwight.
107. Season 5, Episode 6: “Customer Survey”
An uncomfortable interaction between half the office and Michael, who gets caught in a lie about being engaged to Holly. Darryl's offer to cover Michael’s therapy co-pay rescues this one.
106. Season 5, Episode 11: “The Duel”
Michael loves to get carried away, and the new radar gun outside the office enables him to think he’s sprinted an outrageous 31 miles per hour. Who cares that there was also a car going by or, as Oscar says, that the feat is “humanly impossible”?
105. Season 5, Episode 14: “Lecture Circuit Part 1”
Michael learns about the office’s PA system, so naturally, he abuses it. Jim saves the day by cutting the cord, but there’s a great Creed bit here: When Michael is pretending he’s a pilot and tells everyone to look out the window at what they’re flying over, Creed excitedly gets up to look outside.
104. Season 5, Episode 16: “Blood Drive”
It’s always fun to see how normal people interact with the bonkers crew of Dunder Mifflin Scranton. A poor telephone salesman is bombarded by a bunch of people shouting, “Ayyy!” and Michael just looks so damn happy to be part of the joke.
103. Season 5, Episode 21: “Two Weeks”
Pam sets the scene: “Michael finally has a story we really want to hear … and he knows it.” Michael’s long-winded story about quitting Dunder Mifflin drives people up the wall, and it’s enjoyable to see everyone hanging on Michael’s words when they’re usually keen to ignore him.
102. Season 6, Episode 6: “Mafia”
Michael fighting with Toby will never not make me laugh. He kicks Toby out of a meeting about business fundamentals and then gets challenged by Ryan to write a book about business. The editing sells this one; we cut to Michael starting a recording with “The businessman …” before a long pause and a cut to the opening credits.
101. Season 6, Episode 7: “The Lover”
Blind Guy McSqueezy! Michael’s very silly prank on Jim and Pam after the newlyweds return from their honeymoon is undeniably amusing, and Michael’s joyful admission that “the women in my improv class absolutely hate [McSqueezy]” is a great cringe laugh.
100. Season 6, Episode 8: “Koi Pond”
Michael’s smugness (or “smudgeness,” as he’d say) about a client wanting him to attend a meeting with Jim is so delicious that you could eat it with a spoon.
99. Season 6, Episode 13: “Secret Santa”
In a big improvement on Season 2’s “Christmas Party,” Dwight and Jim unveil the office tree. Dwight inexplicably starts the countdown at 30, and they eventually reveal a tree with no decorations. It’s so poorly done that Pam can’t get on board to stop Jim from floundering.
98. Season 6, Episode 23: “Body Language”
Oscar tries to help Michael learn Spanish, but Michael thinks that he can use genitalia as the international symbol for gender. The payoff is solid: Angela’s disgusted reaction to the boob-filled Post-it note on her forehead is pitch-perfect.
97. Season 7, Episode 4: “Sex Ed”
This episode gets off to a miserable start as Dwight tries to hire immigrant workers just so he can drive them out of town. Thankfully, it's redeemed by the introduction of Nate, complete with the entire office’s horrified reaction when he attacks a hornet’s nest with a baseball bat.
96. Season 7, Episode 9: “WUPHF.com”
A power cut leads to a hunt for the office’s server password, which leads to reliably funny office banter. Ultimately, they discover that the password is “BigBoobz,” with a z, much to Pam’s chagrin.
95. Season 7, Episode 15: “PDA”
Darryl’s grandmother passes away, and everyone signs a card, except they thought it was for his birthday. This one requires you to ignore logic. Why would Pam ever give Darryl this card that she knows has messages like “Days like this don’t come often enough … you deserve this”? But hey, the close-up of Darryl’s single tear is epic.
94. Season 8, Episode 5: “Spooked”
It’s Halloween, and Kelly and Meredith both want to be Kate Middleton. Meredith is sorely underused throughout the series, and she gets a strong moment here: To prove her royal bona fides, she pulls up a video of her attending Kate’s wedding, shouting, “You’re the people’s princess! Diana was nothing!” to a chorus of boos.
93. Season 8, Episode 11: “Trivia”
The office is trying to keep a silent streak, and it’s going so well until Kevin simply cannot resist shouting, “Oh yeah!” after taking a bite out of his chocolate bar. A delightful comic beat.
92. Season 4, Episode 6: “Branch Wars”
Karen, new manager of the Utica branch, succinctly summarizes the woes of Dunder Mifflin Scranton: “It’s a pretty easy gig when your boss isn’t an idiot and your boyfriend isn’t in love with someone else.” A cut to Michael making a papier-mâché version of himself to get out of meetings really hammers it home.
91. Season 7, Episode 8: “Viewing Party”
The workers of Dunder Mifflin are fixated on the pursuit of the Scranton Strangler, which is entertaining, but the result—Michael collecting some dirt off the road that the Strangler drove on so that his children can sell it one day—is lackluster.
90. Season 2, Episode 14: “The Carpet”
Camerawork was so key to making The Office a comedic titan. When Ryan (who’s taken over at reception) says, “It’s nothing compared to the way Michael looks at me,” the camera whip pans to Michael watching Ryan behind the blinds in his office. A great payoff to an OK joke.
Tier 4: The Toby Flenderson Tier (Unremarkable and Rather Forgettable)
89. Season 3, Episode 2: “The Convention”
Inspired by Oprah, Michael wants to adopt kids. The second Pam mentions a possible barrier, he loses interest. It’s a strong example of Michael’s often reckless impulsivity.
88. Season 7, Episode 17: “Todd Packer”
A microcosm of how exhausted everyone in the office must be with Jim and Dwight’s constant one-upmanship. There’s a long (too long) exchange between the pair in which Jim keeps egging Dwight on about how many months it will take before the apocalypse occurs.
87. Season 8, Episode 20: “Welcome Party”
An office-wide debate: Does Stanley Hudson have a mustache? It’s a touch too silly, but it’s terrific when Pam holds up two sketched pictures of Stanley and Dwight says that they look like nobody who’s ever lived or been dreamt of. (For those curious: He does have a moustache.)
86. Season 4, Episode 9: “Dinner Party”
An otherwise perfect episode gets an OK cold open. It’s all part of Michael’s complex scheme to get Jim and Pam to come to his party. Dwight elevates this one, breaking down into tears when he’s not invited.
85. Season 5, Episode 7: “Business Trip”
Michael’s telling the office about various (incorrect) cultural traditions to prepare for his international travel (to Canada). It’s a queasy blend of the kind of edgy, problematic humor The Office did since the first season’s second episode, “Diversity Day.” When Michael asks Meredith to pretend she's from Abu Dhabi, covers her in a blanket, and tells her, “You are now sexy in your culture,” you can’t help but laugh, even if you know it’s wrong.
84. Season 3, Episode 6: “Diwali”
Michael mocks Ryan for wearing a dress (it’s a kurta). He’s then overcome by jealousy when Kelly and Pam say that they love it. When Michael asks why Kelly didn’t get him one, there’s a fantastic cut to her being baffled.
83. Season 3, Episode 14: “Ben Franklin”
Michael records a video to teach his future son various tasks, including how to take off a bra, which he (badly) demonstrates on Dwight since Pam won’t help. Dwight’s look back at the camera while Michael tries to take his bra off is a work of art.
82. Season 5, Episode 2: “Business Ethics”
Jim announces his engagement to Pam, but the office had assumed that they were already engaged. Well, except for Michael, who’s so excited by the news that he tackles Jim to the ground.
81. Season 5, Episode 9: “The Surplus”
Oscar explains a budget surplus to Michael, a concept Oscar increasingly dumbs down, to no avail. It’s fun to see him be so exhausted by Michael’s lack of knowledge. His patience is remarkable, and honestly, he’d make a solid manager. Michael’s “World’s Best Boss” mug is in full display during all this, a piece of clever set design.
80. Season 7, Episode 16: “Threat Level Midnight”
“Threat Level Midnight” is a fan-favorite episode for good reason, even if its cold open (a scene from the movie Michael directed) isn’t very engaging. Still, Michael Scarn dodging bullets to out-of-sync sound effects never gets old.
Tier 3: Satisfying Like a Stapler in Jell-O
79. Season 6, Episode 11: “Shareholder Meeting”
An obvious bit of corporate synergy, as The Office never mentions Earth Day again, but you’ve got to appreciate Dwight’s extreme commitment to the cause, dressing as Recyclops to raise awareness for the planet. What sells this is that Stanley, a notorious curmudgeon, is invested in Recyclops lore. A sweet bonus comes via a Ronni the receptionist cameo!
78. Season 2, Episode 17: “Dwight’s Speech”
Michael and Dwight annoy the office by throwing a football around. Despite Dwight’s (hilariously) violent outburst to get the ball back, Michael learns nothing from his recklessness. He’s about to throw the ball at Pam’s face before the perfectly timed cut saves us from violence.
77. Season 9, Episode 22: “A.A.R.M.”
As manager, Dwight has installed a new security system that requires a secret code to enter the office. However, Dwight can’t remember his own code, so Erin activates a device that sprays steam, which pours through the vents. (It’s harmless, Dwight points out, although he’d wanted to buy “harmful” steam.) It’s all very goofy, but it rings true to Dwight’s character. The real kicker is Creed bringing in his clothes on hangers. He’s saving a fortune on dry cleaning!
76. Season 2, Episode 20: “Drug Testing”
Dwight found drug paraphernalia on office property, and he needs answers. He begins his interrogations with Kevin, who realizes incredibly slowly that Dwight’s talking about how dumb he is—a great bit. As is Dwight’s accidental self-own: “I didn’t become a Lackawanna County volunteer sheriff’s deputy to make friends. And by the way, I haven’t.”
75. Season 3, Episode 4: “Grief Counseling”
Michael’s an eternal jokester, and he pretends to walk downstairs to the warehouse behind a pile of large boxes. Dwight finds the stunt hysterical, which makes this fun, especially since everyone else is so annoyed. But Pam gets the upper hand here, asking Michael to get her a coffee, which he can’t actually retrieve from behind a stack of boxes. A welcome bonus: Michael compares himself to Bette Midler.
74. Season 3, Episode 12: “Traveling Salesman”
Speaking of being a jokester: Michael can’t wait to share his latest gag with Jim and Pam—he’s turned his computer into a robot named Harvey. A combination of text-to-speech and poor typing proves to be the downfall of Harvey, who tells Pam he loves her “long tim,” giving us Pam’s earnest and hilarious line reading of “Who’s Long Tim?” Despite his failure, Michael is proud of his accomplishments, grinning like a kid in a candy store.
73. Season 3, Episode 21: “Women’s Appreciation”
It’s a war of bureaucracy between Dwight and Jim, as Jim’s tardiness earns him a demerit, an admonishment that Dwight’s made up. Try as he might, Dwight can never one-up Jim in these cold opens, and Jim uses Dwight’s passion for rule following against him, causing Dwight’s brain to crumble in front of our eyes.
72. Season 5, Episode 5: “Employee Transfer”
The Office is best when it nails the specifics of its characters, and this cold open is a great example of that. Everyone’s Halloween costumes make so much sense: Phyllis is a lingerie-wearing cat, Andy is a cat from Cats, and half the office is dressed as the Joker. The icing on the cake is Pam, who dresses up as Charlie Chaplin at the New York office—a place where nobody dresses up. But she can’t take her hat off because then she’ll look like Hitler.
71. Season 5, Episode 18: “New Boss”
Michael is getting ready for his 15th anniversary at the company. The suggestions for the occasion are so silly: Dwight proposes a 15-minute round of applause followed by a 15-minute moment of silence, which makes so much sense coming from him. But Jim, wearing a tuxedo, just wants things to be classy. The scene highlights Michael’s relationship with Jim and Dwight so beautifully, especially the way Michael looks at Jim after each suggestion to get his approval.
70. Season 6, Episode 16: “Manager and Salesman”
Michael calls a hotel in Vancouver about his hotel reservation for the 2010 Olympics (which conveniently also aired on NBC). This cold open delivers quality character detail, as it reinforces Michael’s impulsivity—in this case, he tried to get a hotel room as soon as the Olympics were announced, only to forget about it and not plan any other aspects of his prospective trip.
69. Season 6, Episode 19: “St. Patrick’s Day”
The Office often gave the short stick to Meredith and Kelly, and this great exchange proves why we should have spent more time with them. Meredith’s hyped up for St. Patrick’s Day, and she shares why she loves it so much:
Meredith: “No hassles, no problems, no kids.”
Ryan: “Why no kids?”
Kelly: “Yeah, where are your kids?”
Meredith: “Not today!”
68. Season 6, Episode 26: “Whistleblower”
Michael is so excited about his recent TV interview and gets pumped about a girl calling him on the phone saying she wants to pinch his tiny wiener because he’s famous (complete with a priceless reaction from Michael). But the call was actually just Todd Packer. Michael recruits the office to watch the clip of his interview over and over, but instead they’re distracted by a video of a baby otter. Steve Carell does glorious work here, and his reaction to the baby otter video (and the tiny wiener comment) is extremely memorable.
67. Season 7, Episode 14: “The Search”
Who doesn’t love to cringe while watching The Office? Kelly and Ryan announce that they got married and then divorced, but nobody even knew they were married in the first place. The treat here is how confused everyone looks, and when Kelly says, “The last thing we want is any drama,” you know that things are about to get dramatic. Kelly and Ryan have always been the show’s disaster couple, and this cold open is a welcome tribute to their mess.
66. Season 7, Episode 20: “Michael’s Last Dundies”
Michael and Deangelo go to the homes of Dunder Mifflin employees to hand out Dundie nominations, something nobody wants—especially Stanley, who’s furious that the pair would dare to even step on his property. They arrive at Meredith’s house, who’s coming back from a walk of shame, and are horrified by what they see. Deangelo says that her front yard “looks like Katrina.” And, of course, Michael doesn’t give Toby a Dundie nomination, but he does throw eggs at his house, accompanied by a giddy giggle.
65. Season 9, Episode 20: “Paper Airplane”
This cold open is largely set up for the paper airplane contest the office is holding, but it’s got a few great moments. It’s stunning when Creed throws a cantaloupe instead of an airplane. So, too, is poor Toby getting walloped in the eye by Pam’s paper airplane. And the largely misunderstood Nellie delivers a line that would make Michael Scott proud: “We’re down to an elite eight—well, seven and Toby.”
64. Season 2, Episode 8: “Performance Review”
Dwight is no stranger to falling for a trend, and he becomes obnoxious when he talks about how much better life is now that he sits on an exercise ball at his desk. Naturally, Jim pops the ball, sending Dwight crashing to the floor. Phyllis watches it all happen and flashes a sly smile, a chef’s kiss on top of Dwight’s (literal) downfall. Note: If Jim makes Dwight fall, I will laugh.
63. Season 3, Episode 5: “Initiation”
A clash between a know-it-all and a screwup has a surprising victor as Dwight tries various brain teasers against Ryan. Ryan, however, knows them all and can answer most of them before Dwight finishes posing the questions, leading Dwight to smack the table in fury. Ryan is often portrayed as a tireless schemer capable only of failure, so it’s refreshing to see him have the upper hand for once.
62. Season 3, Episode 7: “Branch Closing”
Being at another branch has not stopped Jim from pranking Dwight. While in Stamford, Jim faxes Dwight messages, posing as a future Dwight. In peak Dwight fashion, he takes the memos with the utmost seriousness, and when he learns that the office coffee is allegedly poisoned, he practically tackles Stanley to the ground to stop him from drinking it—a lovely comic beat.
61. Season 4, Episode 14: “Goodbye Toby”
Jim links his work headset to Dwight’s cellphone, which drives Dwight up the wall. It’s fun to see Dwight try to stop a sales call, but it’s even better when Pam calls him, too. She nails the mix of being playful and showing (faux) surprise, sending Dwight in a tailspin. Pam’s excitement about being involved in pranks mirrors Michael’s desire to be part of a joke, and it’s always sweet to see.
60. Season 4, Episode 2: “Dunder Mifflin Infinity”
Poor, poor Toby. Nothing can ever go right for The Office’s resident sad sack. He’s annoyed about Jim and Pam’s secret romance, so he essentially outs them in a snarky memo. But everyone is so happy to hear about their relationship, and even Pam is delighted: “Toby, was this your fun little way of congratulating us?” The schadenfreude is too good to resist. Michael’s outrageous overreaction to the news is sweet and effective. It’s all topped off with a classic Angela dig when she calls Pam “the office mattress.”
59. Season 4, Episode 7: “Survivor Man”
A brief glimpse of life when Toby actually experiences joy: Dunder Mifflin’s HR team was invited on a retreat with Ryan, and Michael wasn’t. Michael is furious about it, although most of the office (especially Phyllis) finds it hilarious. An angry Michael is a very amusing prospect, and his interruption of Toby’s talking head in a fit of childish jealousy is the pièce de résistance of this cold open.
58. Season 4, Episode 12: “Did I Stutter”
Michael wants to capitalize on the wet cement waiting for him outside the office. He’s arguably the most excited he’s ever been, leading to genuine exasperation when people like Phyllis can’t give him a good idea for how to make his mark on the cement. He hates almost every idea, except the worst one: putting his face in the cement. It’s a cold open that gave us the classic Michael shout of “I love it!” complete with a dramatic zoom. It’s deeply ridiculous, and the result of the cement face print is even uglier than you could imagine.
57. Season 5, Episode 10: “Moroccan Christmas”
This might be Jim’s most technically demanding prank. How in the world did he manage to create a desk and office chair out of nothing but wrapping paper? This (likely impossible) marvel of physics is immaculately rendered, and Dwight’s collapse on the floor, followed by a vintage Jim smile to the camera, is as good a combination as you can get.
56. Season 5, Episode 17: “Golden Ticket”
Michael ruins a call that Pam is on because he can’t wait to tell her a knock-knock joke. Dwight is desperate to do a knock-knock joke of his own in which he’s the KGB, and he ends up slapping Michael. The chaos is increased by Jim, who makes his own knock-knock joke, also as the KGB, and slaps Dwight across the face while shouting, “The KGB will wait for no one!” Dwight is too compelled by facts to retaliate, instead rubbing his now-red face, looking at the camera, and responding with two magic words: “It’s true.”
55. Season 5, Episode 25: “Café Disco”
I’ll admit it: This is a pretty cheap joke. Dwight pays Erin to shout, “I just won an art contest,” knowing full well that Pam failed art school. It’s petty and mean, but it’s hard to deny the sheer power and hilarity of his self-satisfaction, which makes way for a diabolical and utterly delightful cackle.
54. Season 6, Episode 10: “Murder”
Dwight teaches a seminar on “This Year in Martial Arts,” which leads Jim to encourage Dwight to “fight himself”—a request that he happily obliges. Watching Dwight fight himself is funny, but the joy of this cold open lies in everyone’s reactions. Kevin’s confused, Pam’s beaming with joy, Erin’s distressed, and Stanley is shockingly engaged by Dwight taking himself down.
53. Season 7, Episode 2: “Counseling”
Dwight has good news for workers with kids at Scranton Business Park—he’s putting a new day care center in the building. Thankfully, it’s a day care center (called Sesame Avenue) designed by Dwight himself. It’s full of ridiculous details, like Mose painting the walls in the dark, a feeding trough, buckets instead of a bathroom, and an Insane Clown Posse poster with “Insane” and “Posse” crossed out. Just marvel at its glory:
52. Season 7, Episode 7: “Christening”
Office manager Pam wants to slow the spread of germs, something that infuriates Dwight, who advocates for petri dishes full of vomit and feces throughout the office to boost everyone’s immune system (how charming!). Naturally, his passion for germs works against him. Everyone’s encouraged to sneeze on him, culminating in a great shot of him eating his snot-covered toast.
51. Season 7, Episode 10: “China”
Dwight’s latest fad is all about using his feet as hands so that he can have the dexterity of a chimp. Naturally, Jim immediately realizes how he can ruin this for Dwight—by giving him a cup of coffee that winds up all over Dwight. Jim snarkily applauds his effort and puts his hand out for a high five—Dwight responds with his foot, an image on par with The Creation of Adam.
50. Season 8, Episode 4: “Garden Party”
Oh, Andy. He can’t help but screw up, and he really drops the ball by putting up billboards with his face on them all over town that are subsequently graffitied. Meredith loves how edgy they are, and Dwight finds it funny, too, until he remembers he’s featured on one of them. We take a rare trip out of the office as Dwight races to see the damage. The result? A dramatic scream of “No!” and a well-timed whip pan from his face to the penis-covered billboard.
49. Season 8, Episode 6: “Doomsday”
Andy’s keen for an office tradition, so he makes everyone sing Semisonic’s “Closing Time” to end the day. Nobody’s into it, except for one surprising person: Stanley. In a great twist, Stanley couldn’t care less about the song, but there’s nothing in the world he loves more than leaving work.
48. Season 8, Episode 9: “Mrs. California”
Dwight’s smug attitude reaches a new level when he gets a standing desk. He’s so infatuated, in fact, that he even does his talking head standing up, as expertly revealed by a zoom out. But Jim realizes that Dwight is faking it, using a stand to prop himself up. Naturally, Jim takes advantage and pushes Dwight to the ground. The edit here couldn’t be better, cutting just as Dwight yells—but before he hits the ground.
47. Season 8, Episode 15: “Tallahassee”
Dwight is preparing his task force in the early hours of the morning in Tallahassee. This is a cold open that’s chock-full of great character detail (and a callback to Pretzel Day!), like Ryan being horny for Erin and Stanley being nearly impossible to wake up. But Dwight has met his match in Jim, whose multi-kid schedule means that he’s up and ready for him. Jim pulls an elaborate prank, making it look like Dwight is responsible for his disappearance, much to the horror of sweet, innocent Erin.
46. Season 8, Episode 16: “After Hours”
One of the most inconsequential cold opens in these upper tiers, this one is an argument about whether having a child or a dog is harder work. We already know the answer, but the writers progressed things so well here, culminating in a very funny talking head reaction to Andy’s absurd claim that nothing is harder than owning a sailboat. In just a couple of minutes, this open has a full story arc, and hearing Oscar shout “un-be-lie-va-ble” is one of life’s finest pleasures.
45. Season 8, Episode 21: “Angry Andy”
It’s (almost) always exciting when one of the supporting characters gets their own cold open. Phyllis routinely says the same 12 clichés every time it rains, so the office bands together to try to make her say them all. There’s only one she doesn’t say: Phyllis would normally want to curl up at home with a good book, but everyone’s being so nice to her that she’s happy to be at the office. The show has always done great with emotional sincerity, and that sentiment is employed so touchingly and effectively here.
44. Season 3, Episode 17: “Cocktails”
Keen to show off what he learned at Magic Camp, Michael has Dwight lock him in a straitjacket à la Houdini. To the joy of the office, Michael fails miserably and is unable to free himself. The shot of a sweat-drenched Michael asking about the key’s whereabouts is an alley-oop of a laugh.
43. Season 8, Episode 22: “Fundraiser”
Hell hath no fury like Pam talking to Ryan. He’s apparently devastated about the death of Smokey Robinson (which turns out to be a hoax), but Pam quickly clues into his clout chasing—Ryan is pretending to care only to appear sophisticated. Pam wins this bout against Ryan with ease, dragging him through the proverbial mud when he can’t name a single song of Robinson’s other than “Tracks of My Tears.” Pam spent so many seasons being quiet and letting people walk over her, so it’s always a treat to see her take a no-prisoners approach.
42. Season 9, Episode 12: “Customer Loyalty”
Dwight is going through old files, and he uncovers Jim’s old prank about the Holy Grail. It’s an elaborate prank with many steps that the whole office takes part in solving. But Jim has no memory of where he put the Grail. Turns out someone in the warehouse already found it, as revealed in a great whip pan. So many cold opens are won or lost in the final seconds, and this one is definitely won in the end.
41. Season 9, Episode 14: “Vandalism”
Erin may be the least mature person in the office (especially now that Kelly’s gone), but her emotional earnestness makes her such a joy. Here, she’s helping Darryl in an elaborate scheme to hide the fact that he’s actually taking time to work with Jim in Philadelphia. Her commitment to the bit is as heartwarming as the teddy bear (which stands in for Darryl in the scheme) falling off the chair is funny.
40. Season 7, Episode: 23 “Dwight K. Schrute, (Acting) Manager”
Deangelo is in a coma, but things are running just fine without a managerial presence in Dunder Mifflin. Jim gets a call and declines the role of acting manager—something he soon regrets when Dwight gets the same call. That elicits an all-time funny reaction from Pam, who asks Jim in horror, “What have you done?” Dwight sits at the manager's desk like he’s ascending the throne and then calls Mose, who responds with a primal scream.
Tier 2: “I Feel God in This Chili’s Tonight”
39. Season 7, Episode 3: “Andy’s Play”
I’m a sucker for a musical number, and Andy and the cast of the local production of Sweeney Todd go all out at Dunder Mifflin in an effort to generate some viral marketing. It’s not very funny, but it’s extremely fun, and punctuated by some strong bits, like Erin asking whether Andy wrote the musical. And it wouldn’t be The Office without a dose of classic cringe, as Michael asks the clearly complete cast what role he got since he had auditioned.
38. Season 2, Episode 22: “Casino Night”
The only thing better than a Jim prank? A Jim and Pam prank. They work together to make Dwight believe that Jim has telekinetic powers. Dwight’s snide mockery melting into horror is terrific, as is Pam’s giddy reveal of the umbrella she used to make the coat rack move. This cold open takes its time to get going, but the payoff is so well measured and beautifully performed that it's hard to mind.
37. Season 2, Episode 12: “The Injury”
Michael is no stranger to a scheme, although they often end up in flames. That’s taken somewhat literally here, as Michael burns his foot on a Foreman Grill. Michael calls the office from home in agony, and Dwight goes berserk to try to get to Michael, which leads to the indelible image of Dwight crashing his car into a pole, throwing up, and getting back into the car to get to Michael. Dwight has always been fiercely committed to Michael, and this moment really shows the lengths of his comically unmatched devotion.
36. Season 2, Episode 19: “Michael’s Birthday”
Michael tries to get the office in on a pyramid scheme, although he vehemently denies the accusation that he’s involved in such a thing. Jim getting up and drawing a pyramid around Michael’s sketch (explaining how everyone can profit) is a masterful touch. But what really sings here is the continuation of Michael’s unflappable belief in the good of people. If anyone would fall for a scam, it's Michael Scott, and it's always going to be for a very wholesome reason.
35. Season 4, Episode 5: “Launch Party Part 1”
This one speaks so well to how achingly dull office life can be. The gang is riveted during one of Michael’s meetings, but not because of anything he’s saying. Instead, they’re watching the DVD screensaver, hoping the logo goes into the corner. You know something is worthwhile when Stanley finds himself as interested as everyone else. The Office often goes larger than life, and it's always welcome to see the writers go back to the roots of the routine nine-to-five.
34. Season 5, Episode 13: “Prince Family Paper”
The gift-wrapped office set may be Jim’s most challenging prank, but this is definitely his most elaborate. Jim leads a long red wire all the way from Dwight’s computer to the top of the telephone pole outside the building. It’s totally nonsensical, and it’s hard to beat the image of Dwight climbing the telephone pole in the background of Jim’s smug talking head.
33. Season 6, Episode 22: “Secretary’s Day”
Oscar made a video portraying Kevin as the Cookie Monster, which everyone loves—except Kevin. A single line is all it takes to make a cold open a classic, and it’s Angela who makes this one soar, saying, “This is my favorite day,” with such joy in her heart that she could cry tears of happiness about it.
32. Season 6, Episode 25: “The Chump”
The Office loves to take things too far, and this cold open is a great example of Michael’s inability to chill. He’s fed up with listening to Toby, and he has the conference room on his side as he monologues in complaint. But naturally, Michael goes a step further than anyone wants: “If I had a gun with two bullets and I was in a room with Bin Laden and Hitler, I would shoot Toby twice.” Michael may have lost the room with that one, but we then get a thoroughly ridiculous visual of how Dwight would execute all three with one bullet. Who said the show can’t be educational?
31. Season 7, Episode 11: “Classy Christmas”
A group photo with a handful of people is hard enough, let alone one with an entire office. The setup is inherently stupid, as nobody wants a Christmas card from their local paper company. That doesn’t stop Michael from trying his damnedest to make it happen. Phyllis’s jump is extraordinary physical comedy. It’s so dumb, so silly, and so satisfying.
30. Season 8, Episode 7: “Pam’s Replacement”
Erin takes her task of making up an important phone call to help Andy impress a client way too seriously. An underrated comic titan, Erin crushes this cold open. Andy refuses to take the call, but Erin presses harder than he could ever imagine: “Really? Because your mother is dead,” followed by a historically funny zoom in on her little smile. She commits completely and fully to the bit, and it's tremendous.
29. Season 9, Episode 2: “Roy’s Wedding”
The building’s custodian is on vacation, and the office is filthy. Pam has a solution—a chore wheel—which angers everyone because nobody wants to do chores. Never fear, she has a solution: the tiny wheel! The sound of everyone excitedly chanting for the tiny wheel is enough to heal your wounds and clear your skin.
28. Season 9, Episode 18: “Promos”
Phyllis has always been the horniest character in the office, and it’s terrific to see her get her due as she gets off while listening to her Fifty Shades of Grey audiobook. Everyone’s disgusted, and she really takes her chair gyrations to the next level. She deservedly gets a bucket of water dumped on her, and Andy gets the same punishment when he takes the audiobook from her and listens to it himself. It’s dumb, but it’s a blast!
27. Season 3, Episode 12: “Back From Vacation”
Dwight sets up a tape recorder to record meetings for Michael while he’s on vacation, so, of course, Jim messes with him. Everyone’s having the best time with Dwight’s misfortune, except Stanley, who is working on his crossword puzzles and paying no attention to anything around him. Andy activates peak Andy, taking things 50 steps too far by pretending to behead Phyllis with a chainsaw. A classic display of interoffice dynamics.
26. Season 7, Episode 14: “The Seminar”
Enormously satisfying for fans of the U.K. version of The Office, Michael Scott meets Ricky Gervais’s David Brent, and they bond over being problematic in the pursuit of comedy. It may lack a killer moment, but it’s a great bit of fan service.
25. Season 3, Episode 19: “The Negotiation”
One of the least funny cold opens is also one of the most important. In this pivotal sequence, Roy tries to attack Jim, only to be taken down by Dwight, employing his pepper spray in heroic fashion. It’s a rare moment when Dwight gets to be a legitimate hero, and his tearstained confessional about his heroics is phenomenal. He’s so earnest that the talking head becomes one of the best in the show’s history.
24. Season 8, Episode 8: “Gettysburg”
Gabe is going over the code of conduct, boring everyone. But Pam knows just how to get out of it—by faking going into labor. That brings us to an elite montage of her pretending to go into labor to get out of various mundane things, like Ryan talking to her about True Blood. Everyone eventually catches on to her game, but then her water really breaks, thrilling the whole office. Turns out it was yet another elaborate fake-out—she had a water bottle taped between her legs. Pam’s physical comedy and facial expressions transform this routine cold open into something unforgettable.
23. Season 2, Episode 11: “Booze Cruise”
An early Jim prank still stands as one of his best: He puts all of Dwight’s stuff in a vending machine. What really makes this one sing is Pam playing along, buying Dwight’s pencil cup and refusing to give it back since she bought it and it’s hers. Dwight’s panic and frustration, combined with Pam’s delight, make for a giddy mixture. And Jim handing Dwight a big bag of nickels to buy back his stuff, which Dwight does, nickel by nickel, is an excellent detail.
22. Season 2, Episode 13: “The Secret”
All Michael wants is to be in on a joke, and Jim’s “up dog” bit gives him a chance to do exactly that. His desperation betrays him, as he fails at every opportunity to make something of the gag. Michael’s frustration with himself could be hard to watch, but it’s delivered so effortlessly that you can’t help but laugh along with him. It’s all so great, as is the look Jim gives to the camera at the end.
21. Season 2, Episode 6: “The Fight”
Where has Dwight’s desk gone? That’s the crux of the short-lived mystery in this cold open. Jim asking deadpan where Dwight last saw it is hysterical, and Dwight eventually finds it lodged in the men’s bathroom. Surprisingly, Dwight doesn’t freak out, and his eerie calmness as he answers his ringing phone in the bathroom is an unexpected and supremely effective choice, as is Kevin coming out of the restroom with a lit candle.
20. Season 5, Episode 4: “Baby Shower”
Dwight will do anything and everything for Michael, and that includes simulating giving birth to a watermelon. Michael is preparing for Jan’s baby, which Jim importantly notes has no relation to Michael. Dwight’s extreme commitment makes for a laugh riot, and the final image of Michael eating watermelon while Dwight zips up his trousers behind him is flawless. Most importantly, this cold open spawned one of the most recognized memes: Jim Halpert explaining things via whiteboard.
19. Season 6, Episode 4: “Niagara Part 1”
Pam asks others in the office to avoid eating pungent foods to make her pregnancy more bearable, but nobody’s keen to help. Dwight refuses to alter anything, proudly continuing to eat boiled eggs at his desk. Sure enough, that results in Pam throwing up at her desk, which causes a disgusting chain reaction of vomit. Everyone is puking everywhere, except for Creed, who happily continues to eat his noodles. This one isn’t for everyone, but it’s a masterpiece for the sickos out there. Just one question: Why is Angela’s vomit so green? Somebody help her!
18. Season 7, Episode 22: “Goodbye, Michael”
On Michael’s last day, he observes Scranton from the roof of the business park. He’s in conflict with his bestie, Dwight, because Michael didn’t recommend him for manager. They hash it out in the most Michael-Dwight way imaginable, as Michael asks silly questions about bears. The two actors are at the top of their games here, and it's incredibly touching given how silly it is.
17. Season 5, Episode 23: “The Michael Scott Paper Company”
Short and oh so sweet, this cold open finds Michael ready to start his new job. He drives up in his PT Cruiser convertible, listening to Lady Gaga, and delivers one of his finest quotes: “It’s Britney, bitch.” He may not be able to park or know which pop star he’s listening to, but Michael Scott, you will always be famous.
16. Season 6, Episode 1: “Gossip”
The Scranton branch is head over heels for parkour. Well, Michael, Andy, and Dwight are. Jim doesn’t quite see what they’re doing as proper parkour: “They are doing parkour as long as point A is delusion and point B is the hospital.” The camerawork here is dynamic and adds to the absurdity of their terrible parkour skills. It’s the sensational payoff that makes this so delightful, as Andy falls straight into a refrigerator box, followed by a barely audible groan of “parkour!”
15. Season 6, Episode 21: “Happy Hour”
Michael has an offer nobody can refuse: Do more than 25 push-ups, and you can go home. Everyone struggles mightily to meet the task, except for the unshakable Stanley Hudson. There is nothing Stanley loves more than not working, and you’d better believe he’ll do whatever it takes to be free. After doing 26 grueling push-ups, he simply gets up and walks out. Stanley’s best moment in all of The Office.
14. Season 7, Episode 25: “Search Committee”
I’m so grateful for Creed Bratton. The Office has always known exactly when to employ Creed, and this is one of his greatest moments. He’s taken over as manager (based on seniority), and he’s awful at it, but that makes for some huge laughs. He shouts “Keep it running” to a valet who doesn’t exist. He speaks gibberish and asks his assistant, Jordan, to find out what language it is. He has a meeting for team building without ever calling anyone to the conference room. He also tries to make acronyms—BOBODDY, don’t ask what it stands for—for unknown reasons. A Creed-sterpiece.
13. Season 8, Episode 23: “Turf War”
Dwight and Gabe won’t shut up about fitness, so Jim trolls the hell out of both of them with a leg curl competition. While Dwight and Gabe do leg curls, Jim hands them pillows to rest their arms on and a phone to hold. This one requires a certain suspension of disbelief (what episode of The Office doesn’t) because there’s no reason that either of them would grab the telephone, which becomes essential to Jim’s prank. Still, they do it, and Jim takes a quick picture, turning it into a classic sleepover party invite showing Gabe and Dwight together. The kicker is exquisite, as their legs are rubber after all that leg curling, and they can barely make it into the conference room when it's time for a meeting.
Tier 1: Even Better Than Pretzel Day
12. Season 4, Episode 1: “Fun Run”
There’s only one moment in this cold open that really matters, and it makes it an immortal Office cold open. Michael drives to the office, saying, “I feel very blessed.” That’s followed immediately by Michael. Hitting. Meredith. With. His. Car. You know The Office is good when stunt work is involved, and watching Meredith roll over Michael’s car is a gag the series has rarely matched in sheer outrageousness.
11. Season 5, Episode 28: “Company Picnic”
The best cold opens in The Office typically contain one of two things: a prank on Dwight or a large swath of the office interacting with each other. This one is the latter. Michael eats a family-size chicken pot pie for lunch, which means he’s fast asleep. This launches an office-wide effort to make sure they can all leave early. The lengths everyone goes to highlight how much working in an office sucks, a key staple of early Office. They change all the clocks, including in Michael’s car and his wristwatch. Seeing everyone work together to achieve a common goal is always rewarding, and this one is spectacular wish fulfillment for anyone who’s ever worked in a corporate setting. Even Dwight wants to leave early because he has an appointment with a horse doctor. How that horse became a doctor, we’ll never know.
10. Season 6, Episode 15: “Sabre”
An underappreciated gem, this one finds Dunder Mifflin receiving a delivery from its new owner, Sabre. Michael can’t wait to open the package and tells Erin, “scissor me,” so she throws a pair of scissors over in an extraordinarily dangerous fashion, to Pam’s utter horror. It turns out the box was never meant to be opened, and for reasons beyond Michael’s control (“impulsivity and inattention to detail,” Dwight clarifies), they have to put the box back together. That’s a tall task, but Creed offers wisdom: “Have you tried making everything smaller?” Eventually, they put the box back together, but they were ultimately doomed to fail, as Michael dropped his cellphone into the box.
9. Season 6, Episode 24: “The Cover-Up”
A high-effort bit from both Jim and Pam: Dwight suspects the two have learned Morse code to communicate secretly in front of him. The couple brushes it off as nonsense, but an infinitely satisfying talking head reveals the truth: That’s exactly what they did. But it turns out Dwight knows some Morse code himself, and he panics when he believes they tapped out the word “detonator.” That proves to be a false alarm, so he’s ready to move on and drown them out with headphones—until, incredibly, they start blinking Morse code. It’s never not amazing to see Pam and Jim work together to take down a common enemy (and that enemy is almost always Dwight).
8. Season 8, Episode 14: “Special Project”
Many fans of The Office hate on Angela because she’s extremely mean, but people forget she’s also incredibly funny when she wants to be. Pam has just returned from maternity leave, and everyone’s happy to see her. But so has Angela—who had her baby just four (!!!) days ago. Angela and Pam share one of the best dynamics on the show: a constant, often bitter rivalry (which is especially funny since the actors are best friends IRL). Angela has the upper hand here, showing off her perfect post-baby physique and even bringing in brownies for everyone. Pam just can’t catch a break, and her reaction to Angela’s delicious brownies is priceless. She makes a last-ditch effort to get everyone on her side, offering to give the office cash, but Jim wisely stops her from humiliating herself. A perfect cold open for those who love the pair’s humor, with plenty of snark and shade.
7. Season 3, Episode 21: “Product Recall”
Jim’s silliest prank finds him going the extra mile to impersonate Dwight, copying his hairstyle, his glasses, and even his exact outfit. What makes this work is just how long it takes Dwight to realize what Jim’s up to, as well as his complete and utter disbelief once he’s figured it out. The performances here are out of this world, and Jim nails Dwight’s cadence, inflection, and facial expressions. There are only three things you need to understand why this is one of the greatest cold opens of all time: bears, beets, and Battlestar Galactica.
6. Season 5, Episode 26: “Casual Friday”
Believe it or not, there are some people in this world who don’t find Kevin dropping a giant vat of chili all over the office funny. Those people are wrong. It’s simple in concept, but profound in execution. Watching Kevin’s devastation as he drops the chili and tries pitifully to save it from the carpet is amazing. What makes it a masterpiece is the voice-over, in which Kevin details how incredibly thoughtful and intensive his chili recipe is. It’s a miracle of a minute.
5. Season 7, Episode 1: “Nepotism”
Lip dubs may no longer be a trend, but it’s hard to deny the sheer joy brought on by the cast of The Office performing Human Beinz’s “Nobody but Me.” The cold open that kicks off Season 7 is quite the spectacle, but the reason this is an all-timer is that everyone’s attitude is so true to character. Of course Angela doesn’t want to be involved. And why wouldn’t Jim be coy? It’s comforting to see Andy do too much, Stanley be judgmental, and Ryan try to use the opportunity to advertise his side hustle. Kevin and Meredith steal the show in a ridiculous back-and-forth moment that goes out of sync, Dwight goes bonkers, and Michael just wants to show off his magic. Good luck not getting swept up in the immeasurable charms of this one.
4. Season 7, Episode 6: “Costume Contest”
Stanley Hudson’s complete lack of interest in anything that happens at Dunder Mifflin is a tried-and-true running gag throughout the series. That serial inattention gets the cold open treatment in “Costume Contest,” in which Jim and Co. test the limits of what Stanley won’t notice. It turns out it's an awful lot. A donkey in the office? No dice. Andy shirtless? I don’t think so. Kevin dressed as Phyllis saying “satchel”? Not on your life. There is, however, one thing Stanley does notice: The time on the clock is a few minutes behind, which means it's actually home time. May the lord bless our unbothered king.
3. Season 5, Episode 9: “Frame Toby”
The purity of Michael’s hatred for Toby delivers everything you could need in a cold open. Michael has no idea Toby has returned from Costa Rica (he’s been back for ages), and he’s bemused by everyone insisting Toby is in the building. Nobody can quite believe how Michael doesn’t know, but he really doesn't. He goes back into the annex and laughs because Toby isn’t there, only to turn around and be faced with Satan himself (read: Toby) standing behind him. This gives us 10 of the greatest seconds in all of The Office as Michael screams in disgust at Toby’s presence:
2. Season 9, Episode 3: “Andy’s Ancestry”
Season 9 may not have the best reputation among the show’s biggest fans, but it delivered in more ways than thought possible with this spectacular cold open, in which you can watch Dwight’s psyche and everything he thought he knew shatter in real time. Jim is no longer Jim. He’s now Asian (played by Randall Park). Park gives this the edge it needs, perfectly emulating Jim’s trademark glances to camera and general attitude to really throw Dwight for a loop. As Jim isn’t involved, it’s up to Pam to knock this out of the park, which she does with aplomb. It’s the best prank in all nine seasons of the show. Dwight’s increasing shock is perfectly balanced by everyone else in the office not even paying attention. Jim turns the photo on Pam’s desk around to see it’s been replaced with Pam and new Jim, complete with two Asian children, resulting in the funniest guttural sounds from Dwight you could ever hear. You just know that if Jim were there watching, he’d be as emotional as he was when he first found out Pam was pregnant.
1. Season 5, Episode 14: “Stress Relief Part 1”
What’s worse than a fire drill? How about a fire drill you think is real? Dwight takes his role as fire marshal far too seriously, starting a fire in the office to test the emergency preparedness of his colleagues. As it happens, they are not even remotely prepared. When things kick off, they rapidly escalate from bad to worse as the office becomes increasingly engulfed in smoke. Everyone works together to make this the funniest thing you’ve ever seen.
It could be too absurd, but Dwight’s eternal commitment to his duties grounds this in a spectacularly heightened reality. Madness and chaos set in, as Michael screams that it’s every man for themselves. Dwight can’t rein people in. Kevin raids the vending machine, Oscar tries to hide in the ceiling, and Angela throws her cat after him (poor Bandit plummets to the ground seconds later). It’s one incredible moment after another, culminating in Stanley having a heart attack. Michael’s attempt to revive him is perfect, though shouting “Barack is president!” isn’t enough to wake him. It’s everything The Office does best: great character details, hilarious interpersonal dynamics, and a hearty dose of “What the hell is going on?!” It’s five perfect minutes of television.