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The 2016 NFL Draft Has Already Lost Its Mind

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Remember when we knew that quarterbacks would go 1–2 and what figured to follow would be a boring parade of offensive and defensive linemen? Yeah, about that …

Laremy Tunsil … Um … Uh … What?

“Hacked social media account,” “a gas mask,” and “potential blackmail” all sound like plot points in something directed by Michael Mann. Yet here we are: After a video of the Ole Miss product taking a bong hit from beneath a leather gas mask surfaced on Twitter, Roger Goodell called 12 other names before getting to the guy who was considered the no. 1 pick as of three weeks ago. We’ll hear plenty more about this in the coming days, but there’s no way the Dolphins, who already have left tackle Branden Albert and took Ja’Wuan James in the first round two years ago, came into the night expecting to walk away with Tunsil.

A Pair of Buckeyes Go 3 and 4

I can’t remember any pre-draft chatter linking Joey Bosa to San Diego. The Chargers kept their plans quiet. And while many thought that DeForest Buckner would be their versatile front-four weapon of choice, according to the San Diego Union-Tribune’s Michael Gehlken, that’s the role they see for Bosa.

As for Ezekiel Elliott going to Dallas, we probably should have seen that coming. Sure, spending on offensive linemen should mean the Cowboys don’t have to spend on a running back, but for at least a couple more days, I’m just going to imagine what Elliott can do behind that group of monsters.

Denver Rolls the Dice on Paxton Lynch

The man tasked with succeeding Peyton Manning comes from the University of Memphis, and he looks like he just got done fighting Captain America. The book on Lynch is that he needs a lot of work to develop into an NFL starter, but if John Elway was willing to deal a third-rounder to move up five spots for him, the Fourth Musketeer should quickly become a better option than Mark Sanchez.

The Cardinals Do It Again

Three years ago, Arizona stole the most talented player in the draft with the 69th pick because of some off-the-field transgressions. Since then, Tyrann Mathieu has turned into a superstar and apparently no one has learned anything.

Robert Nkemdiche was the no. 1 high school recruit in the country, and his best tape from Ole Miss is borderline inhuman. A fall from a window and some other eccentricities may have just taken one of this draft’s few potential superstars and dropped him into Arizona’s lap at the end of the first round. The entire league is going to regret this.

Myles Jack Is Still Available. Really.

Looks like there isn’t a team that’s not frightened by the words “microfracture surgery.” On tape, UCLA’s Jack is a perfect linebacker for the modern NFL, and we just went 31 picks without hearing his name. I have a feeling that some team is going to be very happy after tomorrow. And if it’s the Packers, I meant it when I said I’d leave the planet.

This piece originally appeared in the April 29, 2016, edition of the Ringer newsletter.