The Met Gala, “Fashion’s Biggest Night,” is an annual event hosted by the Metropolitan Museum of Art to raise money for its Costume Institute. It’s also a reliable source of some of the most wild fashion (and celebrity) moments of the year. Each year, the Met creates a pretentious theme for the event; each year, it is largely ignored by the majority of attendees. Remember when Kim Kardashian wore a couch dress to the punk-themed event in 2013? But the 2018 Gala proved to be an exception to the rule: attendees actually took to “Heavenly Bodies: Fashion and the Catholic Imagination.” (Theory: All of the famous people watched The Young Pope.) However, that doesn’t mean all the looks were good, per se. From papal cosplayers to half-hearted attempts at halos, here are the winners and losers of the 2018 Met Gala.
Winners: Hip-Hop Queens
Ever since Rihanna showed up to the 2015 Met Gala in a now-legendary bright yellow Guo Pei gown with a 16-foot train, expectations for her looks have grown higher and higher with each passing year. She exceeded them in 2017 in wild Commes des Garçons, and as one of the cochairs of this year’s event, the bar was even higher. Never fear—Rihanna showed up in a bedazzled papal-inspired number that probably had Jude Law shaking in his holy slippers.
The other ladies of hip-hop didn’t disappoint either. J.Lo put an Arthurian spin on a sparkly body-hugging number; Janelle Monáe went for her usual black-and-white color palette, but added a different choice of Young Pope–esque headwear; SZA looked appropriately angelic; Solange introduced us to God herself; and Cardi B (pregnant with her own rap savior) went full Virgin Mary.
Who needs Beyoncé to show up when her disciples are doing this well on their own?
Losers: People With the Same Damn Headpiece
Rather than completely ignore the theme as in years past, the vast majority of attendees decided to ignore the theme from the neck down, and add some sort of statement headpiece in a half-hearted attempt at spicing things up, Catholic-style. There are too many examples to link here. There were crowns, halos, random spikes, hair nets, veils, and more damn crowns! Listen, famous people, a funky headpiece does not an interesting outfit make, especially when you look like a bored bridesmaid from the neck down. I’m pretty sure the 11th commandment would have said something like “Thou shalt not add a crown to a boring red dress and call it haute couture, Amber Heard!” Just guessing, though.
Winner: Infinity Stones, but Make Them Fashion
No longer mere weapons of universal destruction, Infinity Stones are this season’s hottest accessory. Just ask Blake Lively, who accessorized with Time Stone earrings and seems to be doing a better job of holding on to them than Doctor Strange did.
Likewise, the Space Stone seems pretty safe atop Mindy Kaling’s head; no one deserves to wield the Power Stone more than Cardi B; and Priyanka Chopra can protect our very Reality any day of the week. These are the only Earth’s Mightiest Heroes I recognize!
Loser: Bad Joan of Arc Cosplay
Olivia Munn really set the tone for the night when a quickly deleted tweet claimed that her dress was inspired by her “love of the Crusades.” Not long after, Shailene Woodley arrived in some sort of Joan of Arc inspired … thing? Jennifer Connelly and Michelle Williams also wore metallic gowns clearly meant to imitate the idea of armor, but none of them really hit the mark.
That said, I can’t lay into the misguided medieval looks without acknowledging the one person to do it right: Zendaya is the Jeanne d’Arc we deserve, pageboy wig and all.
Zendaya 6:13 Therefore, take up the full armor of God, so that you will be able to resist in the evil day, and having done everything, to stand firm! pic.twitter.com/UY3iNREH4z— hunter harris (@hunteryharris) May 8, 2018
Has anyone ever become a fashion icon so quickly?
Loser: Almost All the Men
You know shit is dire when Jared Leto and Migos are practically the fashion saviors of an entire gender. (Seriously, Migos looked incredible. And as for Jared, it’s pretty easy to fit in at a Catholic-themed event if you already look like Jesus.) The men were as disappointing as ever. Many of them made basically no effort to fit the theme: Michael B. Jordan, your pinstripes are not welcome in this church. Most notably terrible was Tom Brady, with an outfit that was as bad as the time he proudly wore Ugg slippers.
tom brady looks like he's about to ask a room full of people to suspend their disbelief and believe in the power of magic just for one night pic.twitter.com/VO98UB5gyq— Mina Kimes (@minakimes) May 7, 2018
Winners: Non-Boring Supermodels
Every year, the Met Gala is plagued by an absurd number of models who show up in any old gown thinking they can smize their way onto Vogue’s Best Dressed list. Not this year, Karlie Kloss!
Stella Maxwell and her dress full of Madonnas was a much better performance. And she wasn’t alone among models who finally decided to stay on theme: Gigi Hadid stunned in stained glass, Rosie Huntington-Whiteley did a halo better than just about everyone, and no one expected Taylor Hill to go full Spanish Inquisition!
Such commentary on the underbelly of the Catholic Church!
Losers: People Within 10 Feet of Katy Perry
Katy Perry predictably Did The Most again, this year in giant angel wings. It was all well and good while she was posing on an empty carpet, but moving around the event proved a little problematic.
Katy Perry unapologetically knocking people over with her angel wings (2018) pic.twitter.com/9UFjHKOdO9— KP Doing Things (@KPdoingstuff) May 8, 2018
Someone should probably check on Ariana Grande. The poor girl is probably having flashbacks to the time she got decked with a Victoria Secret model’s wing.
Loser: The Ocean’s 8 Cast
Anne Hathaway, we expected better. The entire premise of the upcoming Ocean’s 8 is stealing a multimillion-dollar necklace that Hathaway’s character wears to the Met Gala, and girl shows up to the real thing with barely a jewel on her? Unacceptable. Even worse, she did the best of the bunch (we’re not counting Rihanna, she’s in a class all her own). Cate Blanchett was busy being jury president and generally thriving in a yellow suit in Cannes, and Sandra Bullock was simply MIA. Mindy Kaling, meanwhile, committed the bad headpiece–boring dress sin, and Sarah Paulson was just pretty boring. This is bad marketing!
Winner: Hollywood Royalty
I’m not sure why Princess Beatrice showed up to this year’s Gala, but she was far outshone by the event’s real royals. Like Emilia Clarke, who showed up in Dolce and Gabbana wearing an actual crown and murdered my Dany-devoted heart. Or the King of Wakanda, Chadwick Boseman, who continued his incredible streak of outdressing every other man on the planet. Or Letitia Wright, who brought John Boyega with her, because a princess goes where she pleases and with whoever she damn well likes!
Winner: Renaissance Paintings
Renaissance art was a popular theme this year, but only a few attendees really nailed it. Amanda Seyfried and Kate Bosworth went the “muse” route and looked like actual paintings come to life. Ariana Grande went a different route in a Vera Wang gown printed with Michelangelo’s The Last Judgment. I could have done without the ultra-long extensions and cutesy bow, but the gown looked gorgeous, and wearing Michelangelo is a F-L-E-X.
Loser: Catholic School Uniforms
You’d think that in the year of our Lady Bird and Savior, more people would have been willing to go full Catholic-school-girl chic. I cannot believe a Kardashian didn’t capitalize on the chance to wear a teeny plaid skirt to the Met Gala and call it fashion! The only person to (kind of) fulfill my uniformed dreams was, fittingly, Greta Gerwig herself. I’d watch this Sound of Music reboot.
Winner: Literally Just Frances McDormand
Apparently, the fewer fucks you give, the closer you are to God.