Great news: they’re married. The royal wedding between Prince Harry and Meghan Markle went off without a hitch, and, if we can be genuine for a moment, was a lovely ceremony that broke from historic traditions and united a winning couple. It was also, like all weddings, an excellent opportunity to obsess over every detail and pit outfits and flower arrangements against one another. Many moments of the wedding were objectively great, including the rousing sermon and gospel choir that made for a surprisingly progressive service. Other aspects, like the ripples of Meghan’s family troubles, were less of a success. From the Queen’s bright green suit to the Suits cast themselves, here are the winners and losers of the royal wedding.
Winner: Meghan and Harry
With apologies to Will and Kate, this morning’s ceremony was the warmest, loveliest royal wedding of all time. From whispered conversations at the altar to their official first kiss, Harry and Meghan looked wildly in love and thrilled to be there. There were so many delightful moments: Harry’s goofy smiles as Meghan walked down the aisle, the unveiling of the beautiful, astonishingly photogenic bride, a few instantly overanalyzed hand caresses … they’re just cute, these two. It was impossible to not be drawn in.
Loser: B-List Celebs
I like Suits as much as the next person, which is to say I’ve never seen an episode of Suits, but am open to the concept and life path that brought Meghan Markle here. I did have a general sense of the cast, though, and I still was not prepared to see Patrick J. Adams and Pretty Little Liars’s Troian Bellisario (who had a concerning TopShop vibe) every time the camera cut to the Middletons in the chapel. Even less prepared was Serena Williams—an absolute A-List celeb, to be clear—who was as mystified as the rest of us as to why she was seated next to Abigail Spencer in a choir row. (Spencer looked pretty, but a little like she robbed the Timeless costume closet.) Every time the camera cut back, Serena had pivoted slightly further away from Spencer. Let Serena manage the list next time.
People seem to be split on whether Meghan’s dress is boring or classic, but one thing we can all agree on is that it was an impressively kept secret. Until the moment she stepped out of the Rolls Royce, no one knew anything about it—not the designer, the fabric, the style; not even her veil or choice of tiara. The dress turned out to be a Givenchy creation by Clare Waight Keller, the brand’s first ever female designer. According to a statement from Kensington Palace, the veil “was embroidered with the flowers of all 53 Commonwealth nations, each one different, to represent the roles Ms. Markle and Prince Harry will assume as Youth Ambassadors to the wider British world.” It was held in place by Queen Mary’s 1932 tiara, loaned to Meghan by the Queen. No matter what you think of the Givenchy dress, we’ve definitely come a long way from the strapless, boho dress from Meghan’s first wedding.
Loser: The Markle Family
Meghan’s family was the major tabloid story before the wedding, thanks to her father’s heart problems, paparazzi photos, and a few loud-mouthed interviews from her half-siblings. After a few days of back-and-forth on whether her father would attend the wedding, Meghan announced his official absence at the last minute, leaving Prince Charles to walk her down the aisle. I don’t see why her mom couldn’t have done it, but Charles did fine in a pinch. Still, her father’s absence was felt, and the whole saga was the one real bummer of the wedding.
Winner: Spring Fashion
It was a gorgeous, sunny day in Windsor, and guests turned out in an array of brightly colored gowns and hats to match. Amal Clooney was a standout in yellow, while Oprah, Serena Williams, and a wide variety of others showed up in pink. Carey Mulligan, Pippa Middleton, and the Queen (in a lime green coat) all went with florals, and Meghan’s mother Doria Ragland looked gorgeous in mint green. There were a few exceptions to the springtime theme, however: Victoria Beckham gonna Victoria Beckham, no matter the weather.
Loser: Eugenie and Beatrice
Princess Eugenie and Beatrice’s much-memed hats were the talk of the last royal wedding, and expectations were high for today’s headwear choices. Unfortunately, they must have lived and learned. Both showed up in reserved, boring fascinators, letting down every single person watching and waiting at home. One mystery woman, however, made a valiant effort to pick up the slack with a spork hat– whoever you are, thank you for your service.
Winner: Bishop Michael Curry
Just as everyone watching prepared to go take their bathroom break during the typically boring church service, Bishop Michael Curry stepped up to the altar and gave an unprecedented, exceptional sermon. I recommend just watching or reading his speech, which was a moving examination of both history and love that also included little asides like, “Two young people fell in love, and we all showed up!” and “We gotta get y’all married.” I feel certain that more people in that church laughed in those few minutes than in the entire history of British royal weddings. (Others looked like they were going to have a heart attack.) Bishop Curry’s sermon also kicked off a wave of black cultural inclusion in the ceremony, including a performance of “Stand By Me” by The Kingdom Choir and an interlude by cellist Sheku Kanneh-Mason.
Loser: Stodgy Traditions
In addition to the most obvious updates to the affair (Suits cast, hello), there were many smaller changes on Saturday. Harry chose to wear a wedding ring, unlike past British male aristocrats. Meghan is expected to speak at the reception, which has never been done before. And perhaps the most important break from tradition: the wedding cake will not be a fruitcake. In other news, the royal wedding cake will be eaten for the first time in history.
Winner: Blind Dates
Never forget that it was a blind date that brought us all together today. Tinder could never.