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A Houston Texans Fan Grapples With the Mind-Boggling DeAndre Hopkins Trade

Shea Serrano loves the Houston Texans, and loves DeAndre Hopkins even more. After the team traded Hopkins to the Arizona Cardinals for David Johnson, he’s not doing so well.

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The part in Creed II when they have the hearing test for Adonis and Bianca’s daughter. The part in My Girl when Vada cries uncontrollably at Thomas J.’s funeral and keeps asking “Where are his glasses?” as she stares at him in his casket. The part in Friday Night Lights when Boobie cries hopelessly in the car with his uncle. The part in Steel Magnolias when M’Lynn just can’t take it anymore at Shelby’s funeral. The part in I Am Legend when Robert has to mercy kill his dog. The part in Selena when we know she’s about to be murdered. The part in Brokeback Mountain when Ennis looks at Jack’s shirt after he finds out that Jack is dead.

The part in A Star Is Born when Jackson Maine closes the garage door. The part in The Shawshank Redemption when Brooks hangs himself. The part in Coco when Miguel sings “Remember Me” to Mama Coco and she starts singing with him. The part in The Land Before Time when Littlefoot’s mom dies. The part in Jojo Rabbit when Jojo tries to tie his mom’s shoe. The part in Marriage Story when Charlie and Nicole have their big fight. The part in The Notebook when Old Allie forgets Old Noah after she briefly remembers him. The part in Seven Pounds when we find out why Tim is going to kill himself. The part in Forrest Gump when Forrest talks to Jenny’s gravestone after she’s been buried. The part in Cast Away when Chuck loses Wilson at sea. The part in Philadelphia when Joe visits Andrew after the case is over. The part in What to Expect When You’re Expecting when Rosie has the miscarriage. The part in Titanic when the old couple lies in the bed together as the ship starts to sink. The part in 50/50 when Adam freaks out right before the surgery that might kill him. The part in The Best Man Holiday when Lance becomes overcome with grief at Mia’s funeral. The part in Inside Out when Bing Bong sacrifices himself.

The part in Love Actually when Karen figures out that her husband is having an affair. The part in Marley & Me when they have to put Marley down. The part in Toy Story 3 when all the toys decide to give up and die together in the incinerator, and the part when Andy has to give the toys away. The part in The Green Mile when John Coffey begs not to be put in the dark right before his execution. The part in King Kong when the military won’t stop attacking King Kong. The part in Armageddon when Harry sacrifices himself so A.J. can live. The part in The Iron Giant when he flies himself into the missile to protect everyone else. The part in Gladiator when Maximus finds his hanged wife and son. The part in American History X when Derek holds Danny’s body in the bathroom and cries. The part in Ghost when Sam and Molly say goodbye. The part in What Dreams May Come when Chris and his children die separately and Annie dies by suicide. The part in Click when Michael realizes he’s made a massive mistake.

The part in Avengers: Infinity War when Peter Parker doesn’t feel so good. The part in Million Dollar Baby when Maggie tells Frankie she can’t live the rest of her life paralyzed. The part in The Lion King when Simba tries to wake Mufasa up. The part in Up when we have to watch Ellie lose the baby, and when we have to watch Ellie die. The part in Sophie’s Choice when Zophia has to decide which of her two children she’s going to keep, when you can hear her screaming as they take her daughter away.

The Houston Texans traded DeAndre Hopkins. It feels like all of these things just happened at once.