Welcome to 2018! Isn’t it amazing to be able to rid yourself of 2017 and dive headfirst into the new year fresh, unencumbered by the egomaniacal trappings of celebrity spectacle and the overwrought self-seriousness of male “artists”?
[Gets alert on intercom]
What’s that? Justin Timberlake did—he released a trailer for a new album?
IT’S CALLED MAN OF THE WOODS?!
Well guys, that 24 hours or so of misguided hope was fun and all, but it’s gone now. Let’s just lean into it: This trailer, which is titled “Justin Timberlake - INTRODUCING MAN OF THE WOODS” (in all caps just like that), is 59 seconds long and it is phenomenal. Not a second is wasted—there are so many weird/stupid/silly things in this minute of film that give me true, profound joy. I am going to rank all of those things now, so that you, too, may feel this feeling.
16. That it’s called Man of the Woods.
15. The video opening with this image and absolutely no further explanation:
14. These gloves JT wears as he’s gallivanting through a snow-kissed meadow:
13. “This album is really inspired by my son, my wife, my family, but more so than any other album I’ve written, where I’m from,” says noted Man of the Woods Justin Timberlake. Sorry Jessica Biel, there comes a point in every man’s life when he stops doing “Pusher Love Girl” and starts singing about TREES.
12. At first I was like, “Uhh, there aren’t any woods in Memphis,” where Timberlake’s from. But I guess he technically grew up in Shelby Forest, so the title of the album may be factually correct after all.
12. This very cool, very woodsy spin move:
11. The cameo by the star of The Sinner and Golden Globe nominee, Jessica Biel:
10. The hat worn by Golden Globe nominee Jessica Biel, which really says, “I am a woman of a Man of the Woods.”
9. My realization that this is maybe the first time I’ve ever seen Justin Timberlake and Jessica Biel show each other affection.
8. This look (if 2017 was a year for sweaters, in 2018 everyone’s just gonna wear blankets):
7. The Revenant was a cool movie, right?
6. Actually, the song that plays from 30 seconds onward sounds pretty good.
5. Oh shit, a Pharrell cameo.
4. “It feels so earthy—just where you are in your life right now,” says Pharrell, which, I just don’t know. Can people be at an earthy point in their lives? I guess I’m not an expert on all things man-of-the-woods-related.
3. The moment when I realized that this is a vibe John Mayer adopted in 2013:
And that Brad Pitt kind of explored in GQ last year:
2. When Justin Timberlake does a Jesus Christ thing:
1. All of the words Jessica Biel uses to describe the album: “mountains,” “trees,” “campfires,” “like, Wild West.”
Man of the Woods drops surprisingly soon, on February 2, two days before JT headlines the Super Bowl LII halftime show. I suggest you get in touch with your inner earthiness in the meantime.