The NFL is deliberating on further discipline for Eagles defensive lineman Jalen Carter for spitting on Cowboys quarterback Dak Prescott on Thursday night. But what recourse will there be for the league visually spitting in my eyeballs with its new “Ride the Float” commercial?
Look at this AI slop monstrosity:
The ad suggests that to “ride the float” is to get on board with the hope of a new season and the belief that your team really can win it all. The implication seems closer to riding the bandwagon, which is a real thing sports fans say, but instead it’s “the float.” Floats evoke big parades, like in Mardi Gras. So maybe the theme of this commercial would make some sense if the upcoming Super Bowl were in New Orleans, like it was literally last season. But it’s not. ChatGPT-ass concept. The “float” also wound up looking less like a parade float and more like a radioactive Noah’s Arc carrying the Rizzler.
The song “Ride the Float” is a riff on Quad City DJ’s “C’mon N’ Ride It (The Train),” and it is performed by Normani, whose involvement in this whole thing is unfortunate but whose ability to cash a check I support. The lyrics have been updated to mention various teams and are “performed” by AI versions of mascots or local superfans rendered in the most aesthetically offensive way possible.
Look at this freaky Raiders baby!
They made Travis Kelce, Patrick Mahomes, and Andy Reid into a “three headed G.O.A.T,” which looks like a Cerberus with a haunting skin texture. There’s a weird bit where comedian Druski rides a CGI dolphin in front of a green screen and then complains his thighs are chafing, but at least he’s an actual person. The rest of it all just looks wrong in the way that all AI slop looks wrong.
I’m sure you’ll be shocked to hear that the lyrics are less than elegant, like the line for the Falcons: “ATL aura weighs a ton.” This is the explanation of that line from the actual glossary the NFL released alongside this ad:
“Rayyan Arkan Dikha, an 11-year-old boy who lives in Indonesia, went viral this summer when a video of him dancing on a boat was posted and aura farming was born. Aura = something you want to have. ATL aura weighs a ton.”
Aura = something you want to have. I’m mad they’re not even pretending to try. Also, that 11-year-old boat kid doesn’t give a hoot about the Falcons! This commercial has the worst aura of all time.
Yet the NFL appears to be proud of itself. It’s touting “You Better Believe It,” the actual name of the commercial, as a “high-energy 2025 Kickoff campaign that combines artificial intelligence and live action to create a larger-than-life, all-32 team fan celebration.” That is … not a combination of words that any living, thinking human being should find compelling, and yet here we are. The NFL managed to get coverage of this thing in Rolling Stone! I can forgive the corniness of the “Motivatin’” Peyton Manning commercial, or even the NFL promoting the Karol G halftime show at Chiefs-Chargers like they’re bringing people Jimi Hendrix at Woodstock. But a league that made $23 billion in revenue last year outsourcing ads to a cousin of Grok and then crowing about it is a bridge too far!
So it was heartening (and even delightful) that during the kickoff game Thursday almost everyone agreed that this commercial is freaky and bad. This was the top comment in response to the NFL account posting the spot:
The float ad was also immediately a fixture on r/CommercialsIHate. The top comment: “I am dead serious and not exaggerating when I say that is the worst commercial I've seen in years.” That is saying something coming from this particular Reddit community!
The NFL is threatening to continue airing “additional ‘You Better Believe It’ vignettes” throughout the season.
