Dear Mr. Cruise,
I wish that we were able to meet in person, but since you’re embarking on a global tour to educate the world about the atrocities of motion smoothing, I understand you’ve got a busy schedule. Being one of cinema’s most high-profile ambassadors is a serious undertaking, so I’ll get straight to the point. It’s a precarious time to be a movie star: IP continues to reign supreme throughout Hollywood, and actors are no longer a blockbuster’s biggest selling point. But for you, Tom—can I call you Tom, or will I be on the receiving end of an infamous Les Grossman tirade?—this myopic era of moviemaking has done little to dim your star wattage. (We can all pretend the reboot of The Mummy never happened; Universal certainly has.) In fact, I’d argue that you’re not deferring to the great IP machine; instead, these franchises are bending to your will as the world’s foremost adrenaline junkie.
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Nostalgia for the original Top Gun was surely a factor in Top Gun: Maverick becoming the second-highest-grossing theatrical release of 2022. But I truly believe the most important element to the film’s success, Tom, is that people wanted to see you and your costars fly actual fighter jets. All the stunning CGI in the world is no match for the very real sight of a man’s face contorting from G-force pressure in a cockpit. A similar philosophy applies to the Mission: Impossible franchise, which has evolved from an auteur’s playground (Brian De Palma, John Woo) into a profitable enterprise built on finding new ways to risk your life for the public’s entertainment.
In the previous three Mission: Impossible films alone, Tom, you’ve shot an underwater sequence that required holding your breath for several minutes at a time; hung off the side of an airborne plane and the Burj Khalifa; driven a motorcycle through the streets of Paris without a helmet; broken your ankle while jumping from one building to another; executed over 100 HALO jumps; and learned how to fly a helicopter in six weeks by training for 16 hours a day. This is, respectfully, completely unhinged, but I admire your dedication to the craft. Somehow, you’ve managed to one-up yourself with the franchise’s latest entry, Mission: Impossible–Dead Reckoning Part One, by driving a dirtbike straight off a cliff before performing a base jump. Paramount has called this sequence the biggest stunt in cinema history, and it really isn’t hyperbole.
Part of me shudders to think what you and director Christopher McQuarrie have cooked up for Dead Reckoning Part Two, and whether you’ll survive the ordeal. But then I remember what it’s like to experience these death-defying moments in a packed theater, and how big-budget Hollywood productions keep abandoning this type of practical stuntwork in favor of visual effects. (It’s also probably not a coincidence that the main antagonist of Dead Reckoning is an algorithm.) Clearly, the risks are worth the rewards, and not just because Dead Reckoning slaps. No less an authority than Steven Spielberg has said that you saved the theatrical industry after the pandemic—your commitment to cinema’s well-being is so unwavering that you even tried to trick moviegoers into believing The Flash was good. (No worries, we all make mistakes.) All of which is to say: I love what the Mission: Impossible films have become, and I want to help you keep the good—and extremely dangerous—times rolling.
While there’s been some rumblings that Dead Reckoning Part Two will be your last turn as Ethan Hunt, I believe there’s still some meat on the franchise’s bones. Or, more accurately: I think there’s more stunts you can pull off in these movies that will test the limits of human achievement. We can get down to the nitty-gritty of my consulting fees later, but for now, allow me to break down four additional Mission: Impossible sequels, and what they will mean for you as a performer.
Mission: Impossible–Cosmic Retribution
The premise: A shadowy organization known as the Andromeda Collective is planning to destroy every satellite in orbit to bring about a new world order. The Impossible Mission Force (IMF) have concluded that the Collective has at least one astronaut in a prominent space program working as a double agent, and that the plan will be initiated somewhere aboard the International Space Station. Ethan’s mission, should he choose to accept it, is to travel to the ISS and prevent the Collective from executing the attack.
The execution: Tom, I know you were already planning to shoot a movie in outer space with Doug Liman, but given the lack of meaningful updates on the project, I get the impression that it’s a cool idea still waiting for a good story. So why not head to space as Ethan Hunt? In collaboration with NASA and the ISS, we will shoot scenes both within the station and on spacewalks. (There will also be footage of your launch incorporated into the film.) The movie’s centerpiece will be a fight scene in space against a beloved, all-American astronaut, who’s revealed to be the Andromeda Collective’s leader. (In a nod to First Man, we would eye Ryan Gosling for the role, though he will have a stunt double for the space scenes because no other actor is willing to sign off on actually going to space.) Your characters will be duking it out with the ISS looming in the background—we will take extra precautions with several harnesses that will be edited out in post so you don’t detach and float into the cosmos for all eternity—until Ethan manages to crack his adversary’s helmet and the depressurization kills him instantly. With only a handful of satellites destroyed by the Collective, Ethan is hailed as a hero back on Earth.
The budget: $400 million. Getting to space is expensive, but I’m sure that you of all people can convince Paramount that this will be a good investment.
Mission: Impossible–Continental Drift
The premise: Inspired by the Apostles and their apocalyptic ethos from Mission: Impossible–Fallout—“There cannot be peace without first a great suffering”—an anarchist group known as the Subnauticals plans to detonate several bombs throughout the world’s oceans. If the Subnauticals succeed, massive tsunamis will wipe out coastal communities and lead to catastrophic loss of life. Ethan’s mission, should he choose to accept it, is to stop the Subnauticals before biblical flooding upends the planet.
The execution: While some of the underwater sequences will be shot in giant tanks at the Paramount studio lot, we plan to execute a deep dive in the ocean for the film’s climactic setpiece, during which Ethan defuses one of the bombs off the coast of Italy. The real headline, Tom, is that you will complete the deepest dive ever recorded on film—whether you also want to break the record for the world’s deepest scuba dive at a depth of more than 1,000 feet is up to you and the level of risk you’re willing to take on. I honestly don’t know what to expect since you took a photo atop the Burj Khalifa without any safety equipment, but whatever you decide: please take the bends seriously. In a tussle with the leader of the Subnauticals, played by Jason Momoa, Ethan manages to attach an anchor to his foot and push it over the edge of a massive trench, plunging the villain into a watery abyss. Full disclosure: The original script incorporated a submersible to reach even greater depths on the ocean floor, but that has been scrapped for, uh, obvious safety concerns.
The budget: $275 million. The movie has the potential to go significantly over budget if there are production complications during the ocean sequences (see: Waterworld).
Mission: Impossible–Natural Order
The premise: Horrified by the profoundly detrimental effects of climate change, an ecoterrorist cell calling themselves the Guardians of Gaia have stolen a deadly airborne contagion from a top secret research facility and plan to release it in cities across the globe. The mortality rate from the virus would lead to hundreds of millions of deaths, decimating all major economies and industries. As a result, the animal kingdom will once again have dominion over the natural world. Ethan’s mission, should he choose to accept it, is to locate the whereabouts of the stolen contagion and bring the Guardians of Gaia to justice.
The execution: I’m not going to lie to you, Tom, this is where things get a little zany. Because the Guardians of Gaia are all about protecting Mother Nature, they don’t just carry normal weapons: the group’s members have a plethora of animals trained for combat. That means you’re going to be tussling with some real beasts, including, in the current iteration of the script, a lion and a bear. Of course, we’ll have the world’s top animal trainers on site to ensure the utmost safety during these scenes, but we’ve been warned that animals are, by their very nature, unpredictable. (Who knew?) Thankfully, the animal fights will take place in a wintry climate—we’re still doing location scouting for a good Siberia stand-in—so you’ll have plenty of padding beneath a puffy jacket to prevent injury. Now I know you’re probably thinking: there are so many ways this could go wrong, and one bite from a lion or bear could kill me. And it’s true! But consider that Leonardo DiCaprio won a damn Oscar for wrestling with a bear, and that bear was merely CGI! Imagine how Academy voters will react when Ethan Hunt is rolling around on the ground with an actual bear. If a Best Stunts Oscar hasn’t been implemented by then, the Academy will have no choice but to create the category in your honor—awarding you with a long overdue statuette for decades of high-octane moviemaking.
But wait, Tom, there’s more: Ethan’s globe-trotting mission ultimately leads him to Pamplona, Spain, where the Guardians of Gaia have set up a trap for our beloved hero. You see, the events of the movie’s climax will coincide with the city’s annual Running of the Bulls, and rather than going to the trouble of recreating the event, you’ll participate in the real thing. This will allow us to give the audiences what they really crave from the Mission: Impossible franchise: the iconic Tom Cruise run, only this time, you’re being chased by a herd of pissed-off bulls. While there have been 16 recorded deaths related to Pamplona’s Running of the Bulls—mostly from participants being gored—it’s a relatively low-risk activity by your standards, Tom, and will probably feel like a walk in the park after fighting a lion and a bear. In an ironic twist, the leader of the Guardians of Gaia, played by James Cromwell, is impaled by one of the rampaging bulls before the contagion can be released.
Budget: $125 million. Turns out, using real animals is way cheaper than CGI.
Mission: Impossible–Redpoint Break
The premise: A group of extreme sports enthusiasts have committed a string of successful robberies at the Federal Reserve Bank in New York City and several United States mint facilities across the nation before blowing them up. The anonymous members of the team have been dubbed the Founding Fathers on account of the rubber masks they wear in the likeness of George Washington, Thomas Jefferson, John Adams, and other American revolutionaries. If the Founding Fathers aren’t apprehended, the U.S. government will no longer be able to produce new currency, and the economy will enter a death spiral. Ethan’s mission, should he choose to accept it, is to infiltrate the Founding Fathers and put an end to their adrenaline-fueled crime spree.
The execution: Let me start by addressing the elephant in the room, Tom. (Not a literal elephant; you don’t have to fight any more animals.) Yes, this is essentially the plot of Point Break, but you know what? Point Break is a perfect movie, and imitation is the sincerest form of flattery. If we run into any legal complications from all the similarities between the projects, I’m sure your friends at the Church of Scientology have some great lawyers on retainer. Besides, Point Break came out over 30 years ago; I doubt many people will notice.
Anyway, we want Keanu Reeves to play the leader of the Founding Fathers, who brings Ethan into the group’s inner circle after Ethan proves his worth as a big wave surfer. Since the Mission: Impossible franchise is all about authenticity, Tom, you’ll be surfing at Praia do Norte in Nazaré, Portugal, which is home to some of the biggest waves in the world. In a normal Mission: Impossible film, catching record-breaking waves would be the definitive stunt, but we’re not done yet. In an homage to the opening credits sequence of Mission: Impossible 2, the movie’s climax will take place in a remote mountain range that happens to be the Founding Fathers’ base of operations. Ethan will have less than an hour to reach the top of a giant cliff and prevent the Founding Fathers from detonating bombs planted at every government building in Washington, D.C. The rock climbing in Mission: Impossible 2 may have been the real deal, Tom, but I’m guessing you were upset that the studio made you wear a safety cable. I would never do that to you—instead, you’ll be free soloing the entire cliff in one continuous take. Take as many months as you need to prepare; Alex Honnold has already agreed to help you train for the scene. After stopping the Founding Fathers from destroying the nation’s capital, Ethan has a chance to shoot the group’s leader but, after forming a spiritual bond with his adversary over the course of the film, empties his magazine into the sky in frustration.
The budget: $300 million. Paramount is threatening me with legal action in the event that you fall to your death, but I believe in you.
