Facebook CEO Mark Zuckerberg plans to meet with a group of conservative leaders this week, following a Gizmodo report that Facebook’s Trending Topics feature may have been affected by employees’ liberal bias. His guests will reportedly include Barry Bennett, a senior adviser to Donald Trump’s campaign, and Arthur Brooks, president of the American Enterprise Institute. Glenn Beck, who also plans to attend the meeting with Zuckerberg, wrote on Facebook that “it would be interesting to look him in the eye.” But a visit to the company’s Menlo Park, California, campus is no simple experience. Facebook’s sunny headquarters span an unsettlingly large swath of land by the bay and are dotted with free organic eateries, a barber shop, and an Analog Research Lab that allows employees to dabble in woodworking and screen printing. The result is a Willy Wonka–ish playground of overflowing amenities, meant to ensure employees never have to — or want to — leave campus. Below, a tentative schedule for the group’s tour.
Master Itinerary for Conservative Leaders
9:40 a.m.: Guests are greeted by a (preferably white) tour guide at Hacker Way entrance.
9:45–10:40 a.m.: Ceremonial hoodie offering and bike assignment. Helmets optional. (Transit Hub)
10:40–11:40 a.m.: Chalkboard art tutorial, led by artist-in-residence George W. Bush. (Facebook wall) Note: Emphasize wall.
11:40 a.m.-12:40 p.m.: Taco bowl buffet. (Teddy’s Nacho Royale)
12:40–1 p.m.: Sundae buffet. (Ice cream stand)
1–2 p.m.: Nap time. (Nap pods) Note: Guests may sleep past allotted time period.
2–4 p.m.: Randi Zuckerberg–led lesson spanning all of Ted Nugent’s discography. (Music Room)
4–5 p.m.: FarmVille tournament. (Arcade)
5–5:55 p.m.: Opportunity to photograph and/or hunt campus foxes. (Unchaperoned wandering)
5:55–6 p.m.: Distribute nondisclosure agreements and free T-shirts to those who can be found. (Harvest salad bar)
6–6:05 p.m.: Remaining guests attend “meet and greet” with Mark. Presumed eye contact. (Great glass conference room in the sky)
This piece originally appeared in the May 18, 2016, edition of the Ringer newsletter.