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Who the Heck Is Wyatt?

Seriously, ‘Westworld,’ we have no clue

(HBO/Ringer illustration)
(HBO/Ringer illustration)

As the Westworld finale approaches this weekend, the show is squarely in answer-giving mode. [REDACTED] is a robot, and [REDACTED] killed [REDACTED], who is actually [REDACTED]. Unless he’s [REDACTED]. Oh, and [REDACTED]. But there’s one pressing mystery left: Who is Wyatt, the evil dude at the center of the maze? Ringer staffers give their best guesses below.

Dolores (or Sham Bible Archaeologist Ron Wyatt)

Jason Concepcion: Dolores is Wyatt.

Claire McNear: I’ve been wrong about literally every prediction I’ve had with this show, so if I say it’s Dolores, will it actually be a more surprising (cough-cough, interesting) twist?

David Shoemaker: I think Dolores, just because the Occam’s razor of plausible theories seems to be the way this show is going. Like, if you were casting somebody based on their looking like a male Evan Rachel Wood, you couldn’t do much better than the dude who plays Wyatt. But honestly I’m not sure. I do think the name is a reference to sham Bible archaeologist Ron Wyatt, though.

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Bernard

Ben Lindbergh: Sure, Wyatt is probably Dolores, but I want him/her/it to be Bernard, because Bernard should be the answer to every Westworld mystery. He has been so far. Are any Westworld staffers really robots? Bernard is. Who attacked Elsie? Bernard did. What does Arnold look like? Bernard! Not only would it make the show a lot less confusing if every riddle led back to Bernard, but it would mean more screen time for Jeffrey Wright — who, by the way, looks pretty fantastic in period attire. Yes, Bernard just blew his robot brains out, but that’s nothing hosts haven’t come back from before. We can rebuild him. We have the technology. And we have the ability to turn r/westworld into r/showaboutbernard.

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Stan From True Detective Season 2

Rob Harvilla: Let’s dramatically rescue two promising but flagging HBO franchises in one shot here. You’ll recall that Stan was a low-level henchman who, in untimely death, suddenly became a major character in True Detective’s ill-fated second season despite nobody knowing who the hell he was. Just a faceless random dude with a faceless random dude’s name who was enormously important to the narrative for reasons the narrative was maddeningly unwilling to explain. Remind you of anyone? Right. Same dude. As long as we’re juggling multiple timelines, we might as well open a portal to Vinci. All will be revealed. Put that in your pipe and smoke it, Reddit.

The Player Piano

Jason Gallagher: Wyatt is the piano. I know what you’re thinking. "Bits McGee with his big ol’ bag of bits." But hear me out. In the pilot, the piano plays "Black Hole Sun" by Soundgarden. Here are that song’s opening lyrics: "In my eyes, indisposed. In disguises no one knows."

Or maybe Wyatt is Chris Cornell. Either way, the piano is trying to tell us something.

Theresa

Amanda Dobbins: Wyatt is Sidse Babett Knudsen, sitting in the middle of the maze (is it a physical place?) and smoking a cigarette, waiting for you assholes to reanimate her so she can run Borgen World and save us from this stupid mess.

Christopher Nolan

Dr. Ford

Collin Orcutt: Wyatt is Anthony Hopkins. (No chance.)

Somebody Who Doesn’t Know What a Maze Is

Sam Schube: Wyatt is at the center of the maze, we’ve been told. The maze is key to finding him, and to understanding Westworld, we’ve been told. Here’s a tiny little drawing of the maze in the dirt:

(HBO)
(HBO)

First off, dirt is a low-ass-fidelity medium for maze creation. Second, I’m not even sure this is a real maze, with an actual path through it. Third, where is the head-high corn, artfully crafted into an actual maze? I don’t know who Wyatt is — but if he thinks this is what passes for a decent maze, I really don’t care.

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Jack McCluskey: [Shrug emoji.]

Forget Wyatt, Let’s Talk About Charlotte

Kate Knibbs: Wyatt is definitely going to be a character we’ve already met in a different role, because Westworld is a devil’s ouroboros, designed to make our brains hurt. I’d guess it’s either Dolores or Maeve. Wouldn’t it be funny if it were Ashley, the Minor Hemsworth security guard? That would be weird.

While I’ve got your attention and to compensate for my lack of coherent Wyatt theory, can we talk about how Hot Charlotte is TOTALLY Arnold’s daughter? Charlotte … Charlie … Charlotte … Charlie. Think about it. I am obviously not the only person to think of this theory, because Reddit exists, but in my particular twist, Arnold really did have a son named Charlie who died, and Arnold’s wife got pregnant afterward, and Arnold died while she was pregnant, and she named the new child Charlotte as a weird homage, and also got depressed and threw out all the photos of Arnold, which explains why Charlotte doesn’t recognize that daddy is a subservient robot ghost man.

The Dog

Mallory Rubin: Wyatt is Ford’s childhood dog, seeking revenge on the cruel humans who harmed him. (Love your pets, folks!)

J.R. Smith’s Alter Ego

Everybody, in a Confusing Way

Shea Serrano: I spent the better part of a week reading through all the Westworld writeups and conspiracy theory articles and online message boards and watching all the Easter egg videos, so I’m pretty sure I know who Wyatt is. It’s a bit of a tangle (because everything in Westworld is a bit of a tangle), but: Wyatt, the main bad guy we’ve yet to meet, is actually someone we’ve already met. Wyatt is actually Ford, who is actually a robot pretending to be Ford, who is actually Dolores, and Dolores is actually an earlier version of Teddy, who is actually a younger version of Bernard, who is actually a newer version of Arnold, who is actually an older version of the Man in Black, who is really the same version of the guy who repairs the injured robots, who is actually Maeve, and Maeve is also actually Maeve, but she’s really actually William, who is actually Clementine, who is actually Hector, who is really Lawrence, who is actually Logan. Bang.

Everybody, in a Heartwarming Way

Molly McHugh: I have become too weary to think about the deeper subplots of Westworld, so I’m hoping it’s going to be a Spartacus thing and the show will end with everyone screaming, "I am Wyatt!"

Everybody, in a Confusing and Heartwarming Way

Ryan O’Hanlon: We are all Wyatt.

Disclosure: HBO is an initial investor in The Ringer.