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Emails From the Delos Human Resources Department to Westworld Staff

We’re still waiting on your paperwork, Bernard

HBO/Ringer illustration
HBO/Ringer illustration

Delos is not your average tech and entertainment company. Delos’s human resources department handles issues that other companies would find bizarre. How do you deal with a longtime employee who isn’t drawing a salary or benefits? What happens when employees have intercourse with the product? It’s never dull at Delos HR.

FROM: Alison_HR@Delos.com
TO: Bernard.Lowe@Delos.com
Subject: Soc. security number, picture ID

Hi Mr. Lowe,

This is Alison in HR. Just a reminder that we still have not received scans of your social security card and picture ID. Please send those over ASAP.

Best,

Alison

FROM: Bernard.Lowe@Delos.com
TO: Alison_HR@Delos.com
Subject: re: Soc. security number, picture ID

I seem to remember sending the information over. I have a very clear memory of that. I believe it was right around the time my son died. I recall that quite distinctly. The smell of the hospital ward. The rough-spun texture of the blanket covering my boy, so alive, then so gone. Sending my photo ID and social to HR as attachments. I recall these things.

>Hi Mr. Lowe,
>
>This is Alison in HR. Just a reminder that we still have not received scans of your social security card and picture ID. Please send those over ASAP.
>
>Best,
>
>Alison

FROM: Alison_HR@Delos.com
TO: Bernard.Lowe@Delos.com
Subject: re: Soc. security number, picture ID

Mr. Lowe,

I’m sorry for your loss. It should be noted, however, that this tragedy might be a result of you consistently declining medical coverage. As we’ve emailed you many times previously, HR has NOT received EITHER your social security number OR picture ID. According to our files, our department has been asking for copies for over 30 YEARS, and I checked this several times to make sure. Please send these documents over as soon as you can/today/right now. Not having those things plays havoc with our payroll software.

Thanks

FROM: Bernard.Lowe@Delos.com
TO: Alison_HR@Delos.com
Subject: re: Soc. security number, picture ID

OK. I’ve been all over my apartment and I can’t find them. I guess I must’ve lost them. I’ve been quite distracted since the death of my son, who I love so much. It is as if his death happened yesterday. Can’t I use my Delos ID as the picture ID? Also I realized I’m not sure what a social security card looks like?

FROM: Alison_HR@Delos.com
TO: Bernard.Lowe@Delos.com
Subject: re: Soc. security number, picture ID

>Can’t I use my Delos ID as the picture ID?

NO.

>Also I realized I’m not sure what a social security card looks like?

Are you F-ing kidding? Blue paper card, nine numbers, says SOCIAL SECURITY in big letters across the top. Your name and signature is on it. Actually, here:

It looks like this.

FROM: Bernard.Lowe@Delos.com
TO: Alison_HR@Delos.com
Subject: re: Soc. security number, picture ID

That file you attached is broken. That doesn’t look like anything to me.

DATE: November 16
TO: maintenance@westworld.com
FROM: Department of Human Resources
RE: Inappropriate contact with hosts

1. Any contact of a sexual nature between employees and hosts that falls outside of standard maintenance procedure is forbidden. Hosts, their underlying systems, software, wetware, and bioware are the property of Delos corporation. Violations of that property will be prosecuted with the utmost vigor, i.e., you will go to jail and we will sue your family into homelessness. Your mother won’t be able to beg for spare change on the street without having to give us a nickel for every dime.

2. Please, do not feign ignorance. These issues and their repercussions are covered extensively during your orientation. Additionally, Chapter 3 of your employee handbook, as well as pages 135–138, 257, and 313, mentions the consequences of improper contact with hosts. Don’t fuck the hosts.

3. Sexual contact with hosts that have not completed transiting through the maintenance cycle is hazardous to your health and, potentially, to the health of your coworkers and family. Hosts are exposed to the bodily fluids of guests — sometimes many, many, many guests — prior to their arrival at our facility. These fluids potentially contain viruses and bacteria which are capable of remaining in host tissues even after base cleaning. Hosts are only considered safe for human contact after heat/cold treatment and radiation bath. Be smart. If you fuck a host during the maintenance cycle, you may as well eat lunch out of a public toilet.

4. There are cameras everywhere. Seriously. Like, where is your head at? We are a high-tech, robot-sex-and-murder park catering to the super rich. The hosts themselves are worth millions of dollars each. The underlying technology that makes them possible is worth many billions of dollars. Convenience stores have security cameras; Walmarts have security cameras; why wouldn’t we? Christ, how stupid are you people. ALSO: YOUR LABS HAVE GLASS WALLS. Anyone coming out of the elevator can see everything that’s happening on the entire floor.

5. Host recording is active even in sleep mode and in power down. They log everything that happens to them, all active and passive contacts. The only way to stop a host from recording is to drill out its cortex with a wire-brush bit through the nostril. The second your pants hit the floor, I get a notification on my tablet. I get between six and 10 per day.

6. The only reason you are not all fired is we are understaffed as it is. But don’t tempt me.

7. Don’t fuck the hosts.

DATE: November 13
TO: management@Delos.com
FROM: Department of Human Resources
RE: Free drink fridays for staff

As you are probably aware, employees taking liberties with Rooftop Resort’s free drink Fridays promotion has begun to impact workflow. Recently, as a result of overindulgence, an inebriated upper manager in narrative berated board members and control room staff, exposed himself, and urinated on the world map, causing over $400,000 in damages. This must stop. Access to Rooftop, originally restricted to high-level weekend guests, was extended to staff as a courtesy. That courtesy is now rescinded.

DATE: November 15
TO: all@Delos.com
FROM: Department of Human Resources
RE: Altering host behavioral sliders

Only cleared members of Host Behaviors (HB) staff may access, change, or view host behavioral menus. We have recently been made aware that employees from other departments are changing host settings. At a minimum, tweaking host behaviors can break narrative loops and cause guest de-immersion. At worst, it can be dangerous. Hosts are complex thinking machines, not toys. So, while resetting an individual host’s quarantined input response from, “That doesn’t look like anything to me,” to “That looks like BOFA to me,” or “That looks like CDs,” may appear humorous, rest assured it is not. This week, a host who loops in Sweetwater became enraged when a guest did not ask “What’s BOFA?” and went on a rampage as a result of the glitch. While guest safety was never threatened in this instance, it certainly could have been.

Disclosure: HBO is an initial investor in The Ringer.