This past week, a list of the “Greatest Rappers of All Time,” featuring nonsensical, absurd choices—such as Joe Budden’s placement at no. 3—appeared on Twitter, and quickly went viral. The list sent the internet into shambles; Rob Harvilla was forced to blog; Wale was forced to submit a plea for attention to BTS’s fan base. It was that nuts—or, depending on how you see the world, that good. Inspired by the discourse created by the controversial list, a few brave Ringer Dish hosts set out with an even more ambitious idea: to assemble a list of the 50 Best Celebrities of All Time. To do so, the hosts commissioned 10 Ringer staffers to nominate five celebrities each—with essentially no parameters, and with “all-time” truly meaning “all-time.” That collection of nominees was then loosely ordered into a ranking, to the best of the hosts’ abilities. The final result is chaotic and often ridiculous, ranging from Elizabeth Taylor to, uh, Guy Fieri. But such is the nature of lists like these—if they aren’t just a tad batshit, then what’s the point?
Join Amanda Dobbins, Kate Halliwell, and Andrew Gruttadaro as they pick apart the list and defend their own choices for the top five celebrities. And if you dare, check out the full list below.
- Oprah
- Beyoncé
- Muhammad Ali
- Princess Diana
- Tom Cruise
- Madonna
- David Bowie
- Rihanna
- John Lennon
- Jesus Christ
- Marilyn Monroe
- George Clooney
- Cher
- Brad Pitt
- Leonardo DiCaprio
- Jack Nicholson
- Prince
- Arnold Schwarzenegger
- Lady Gaga
- Elizabeth Taylor
- Jennifer Lopez
- Joan of Arc
- Michael Jordan
- Bruce Lee
- Ariana Grande
- Will Smith
- Napoleon Bonaparte
- Aretha Franklin
- Kanye West
- Elvis
- Paul Newman
- Drake
- Tom Hanks
- Nicolas Cage
- Michelle Obama
- James Dean
- David Beckham
- Meryl Streep
- Jane Fonda
- Frederick Douglass
- Shaquille O’Neal
- Michael J. Fox
- Mariah Carey
- Dwayne Johnson
- Diplo
- Sophie Turner
- Joan Didion
- Cara Delevingne
- Guy Fieri
- Jamie Foxx
We’re extremely sorry … but also not sorry at all.