“A man that don’t love a horse, there is something the matter with him.” —Will Rogers
Maybe you have seen the video. A harness race at Duzijanac in Subotica, Serbia. Three-time NBA MVP and proud pony boy Nikola Jokic is standing trackside with his head in his hands. Big Honey is overwhelmed by victory and melting into a puddle, with these great big cartoon tears spraying off his face after some new nirvana has been found. His horse, Demon Dell’Est, won. And Jokic is bursting.
Joker hops the fence and walks onto the track wearing a smile and a shirt that looks like it’s from UNTUCKit’s Belgrade location, what I imagine to be a small brick-and-mortar along the banks of the Danube. In my mind, the store is flanked by Bratislav’s Rakija Bazaar and a cheese shop named Najsirastiji. The cheese shop’s proprietor is an ancient side of beef who wears yellow tracksuits and makes everyone call him Ujak. Try the sen nekter. Sturdy little sir made of milk from cows that feast on the volcanic pasturelands of Auvergne, France. It’s gotta be the magma.
The Sombor Shuffler basks in the glory of his victory. He embraces the driver. He pats his horse. Watching Jokic pat his horse is to watch a holy act of devotion from a man obsessed, a man in love. Watching Jokic hug anyone of the diminutive driver’s size is like watching a father hug their toddler. He could put the guy in his pocket.
Cut to Yoke in the winner’s circle, Stala Dream Catcher in the no. 1 spot. You wanna talk about stoked? You wanna talk about a man in paradise? He pops a bottle, dumps the bubbly on his team, himself. His shirt is wet with Champagne and sweat. His cheeks are wet with tears. A pink face in ecstasy.
Jokic loves horses, and who can blame him? They rule. I’ve long been deeply pro-pony. Horses should be able to do what they want. They are cool and good-looking and better than human beings. They have manes. We don’t have manes. They have twice our number of legs, and they also get to have tails.
Sometimes they thunder through lagoons and chase flamingos away. Sometimes they battle to keep their harem. Sometimes they have business across the river. Sometimes they fart so hard they scare children. Compared with the horse, we are nothing. No other animal can unfurl something this majestic, this serene. We are not worthy.
Who else is giving you fireworks like that? It’s like Wilson Pickett said: “Got to know how to pony like Bony Maronie.” Tip of the Resistol to Hidalgo and Journalism, Bamboo Harvester and that nice horse from 101 Dalmatians, the steady gray steed who kicked Horace and Jasper face-first through barn walls. Round of applause also for Disney Wiki, which reminded me his name was Captain. The webpage lists his likes and dislikes. The Captain likes: the puppies being safe. The Captain dislikes: the puppies in danger. That’s a stand-up horse right there. Salt of heaven. A protector, a leader, a sweetheart, a friend. A steed you can count on. A horse for all time.
More on the Joker
As many have noted, Jokic was more emotional about Demon’s W than he was when the Nuggets won the title, and his postrace celebration made the rounds on all the sports shows, a joyful moment pumped into the soul grinder that is the content machine. Side-by-side clips emerged of Jokic in the immediate aftermath of his 2023 NBA championship and his reaction at Duzijanac. For some reason, this cannot be just a fun side adventure. It cannot be oh, that’s cool. The event must be shoveled into the discourse trough and become a referendum on whether it’s OK for a professional athlete to care about something that isn’t their sport. [Hikes up pants.] Do they love this more than the game they’re paid millions to play? Grumble, grumble, grumble, cry, cry, cry.
When suddenly Johnny gets the feeling he’s being surrounded by
horses, horses, horses, horses
coming in all directions
white shining silver studs with their nose in flames
He saw horses, horses, horses, horses, horses, horses, horses, horses
Anybody compelled to make an “I want my superstars at the gym, not the track” argument should consider that it’s healthy to have interests outside of work. What does it mean if he was more emotional after this race than he was after his title? Who gives a shit? It’s all right to just enjoy the moment without letting it change your perception of who he is as a basketball player, a competitor, a person. It’s all right for it just to be something cool that happened, a time a player let his hair down and showed more of himself.
