Yahoo, the multinational technology company that ruthlessly killed Katie Couric, is not having a good year. Its approach to being a corporation is something like “throw everything at the wall and see what sticks,” except it throws only stink bombs at the wall, and the wall is made of farts. CEO Marissa Mayer is likely on her way out, and now it looks like the company is preparing to sell nearly 3,000 patents in a quickie firesale. Yahoo recently transferred many of these patents to a subsidiary called Excalibur IP LLC. That transfer is “seen as a step toward a patent sale,” according to The Wall Street Journal.
The patents listed are only a sampling of the spoils Yahoo is offloading. The cumulative value is an estimated billion dollars — they are inarguably valuable — but the cumulative effect of scrolling through the patent titles is a feeling of journeying through opaque techno-gobbledygook. It’s a visual representation of Yahoo’s scattershot identity, as well as how much a company has to give up when it face-plants.
Maybe despite that depressing description, you’re thinking about buying a Yahoo patent. (Congrats on being rich.) I’ve trawled through and broken down some of the more bizarre offerings into categories.
Here we go!